Okay. My frustration level is through the roof. Honestly, I want to cry for the child. I was sitting at my local coffee shop when a mom walked in with her 1 to 2-year-old son. She ordered her coffee, sat down with her friends, and immediately handed the boy her cell phone so that he could watch a movie. I could feel the rage swell up inside of me, and I wanted to walk over and yell at the mom. Too many times, I have seen parents just give their children a phone or iPad instead of engaging them in what is happening around them.

As a child develops, it is crucial that parents talk with them. There are neurological pathways in the brain that are developing as children grow, and even before a child can talk, they are learning the names of objects, actions and people. Children need to explicitly be shown/told the connections between language and objects in order to develop their vocabulary and knowledge of the language they will grow up learning to speak.

All language is learned, and not engaging in conversation with a toddler is depriving them of knowledge that will help them to succeed in life. Anyone who has tried to learn a second language knows that the best way to learn a language is to be immersed into a setting where people around you are speaking that language at high rates. I have had friends that have come back to America almost fluent in Spanish after studying abroad for a semester in Spain.

Parents, please, talk to your children constantly. When you are at the bank or going through the drive-through, explain to them what you are doing because whether they can understand you or not, you are exposing them to the sounds and rhythms of their first language – something that is imperative in order to communicate verbally.

A great way to do this is by reading to your children. Countless studies show that children benefit from being read to as early as 0 months old. Reading to a child allows them to see the language in a written format. Reading them illustrated books allows them to connect words with meaning. This allows them to develop their reading fluency and understanding as they begin to read in school because they have already been practicing the skill of using the pictures in books as context clues.

Reading and conversing with a child is important because it allows them to learn the differences between written language and spoken language. The context of where language is being used greatly affects the words you say and the body language you have. Hopefully, no one would disagree that the way you talk to your boss is different than the way you talk to your best friend, but I think many people take for granted that this is something you, at one point, had to learn how to do. It is something you need to teach your children. You can either explicitly do this or implicitly do it by just engaging with your children in different settings. But you can not teach this by giving your child your phone. Raising a child is a big commitment, and refusing to engage them in conversation is a selfish act that harms the child in the long run.

My heart breaks whenever I see a kid on a phone in public because I know how critical conversation is for their brain development. I beg you, please, talk to your child. Read to your child. Provide them the opportunity to be in language rich environments where they are able to talk back. They need it!

P.S. This is not limited to babies and toddlers.