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Student Life

20 Things Your RA Would Say If We Were Honest

"Is this really an emergency?"

Anita Das

Jun 12, 2017

Chicago, Illinois

20 Things Your RA Would Say If We Were Honest

KC Green

I've been working as a resident assistant for this summer, and as student employees, we at least owe you honesty (or a stretch of truth every now and then) to what we really think about the situations we come across.

20. I am not a doctor or nurse. Why are you calling me when you should be calling 911?

19. I don't know what's a good place to get food around here. You know who does know? Google. You act like you've never used a search engine in your life. Also, do you know who you're asking? I'm just an RA who lives off of week old leftovers and instant noodles. I do not know what quality food is.

18. My power is very limited, but I only bring this up when I don't want to help you.

17. Do you really need linens at 3:30 a.m.? There was no other time to ask earlier? Really?

16. If I smell bad, it's your fault. You interrupted my shower.

15. If I take a while to accomplish a task you give me, it's not because I was already busy taking care of someone else's needs; I was napping.

14. You cannot sweet talk your way out of anything. Only I can.

13. All I do is report incidents and occasionally check people in and out. I don't have the power to do many of the things you ask me to do.

12. If a person is missing, CALL THE POLICE. WHAT CAN I DO. (Just kidding you can notify me).

11. Locked out in the middle of the night again? What are you doing out? Why can't you stay locked up in your room and sleep like a normal person?

10. CAN I PEE FIRST?

9. Drink, smoke, and party all you want. Just not in the residence halls.

8. Being noncompliant will only make you look worse.

7. *about the moving out process* I say everything is fine, but I'm really just charging you. If you didn't note that you have a giant black hole in your wall when you first moved in, I'm going to assume you did it and fine you.

6. I know it sucks when your roommates leave things behind and you move out after them. Too bad I don't care. Get rid of their stuff so I can properly check out your entire suite.

5. I act like I'm going to go to another room to call the resident director to address your issues, but I really just need a mental break from you.

4. If you look like trouble, I'm going to memorize your room number.

3. All of your problems could be solved if you had access to calling university facilities, engineers, or even resident director. Too bad you're stuck with me, a limited individual who will never resolve situations immediately.

2. They are called emergency exits for a reason.

1. Is this really an emergency?

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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20 Things Your RA Would Say If We Were Honest

"Is this really an emergency?"

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Or at least try to do.

1. I will wake up (sorta) on time for class.

2. I will look decent for class.

3. I will go to the gym more.

4. I will go to the library and study more.

5. I will meet new people.

For those long nights that turn into mornings when the struggle is real.

1. Walk in motivated and ready to rock

2. Disappointed you let it get this bad

3. Distracted: When a 10-Minute Break Becomes an Hour

4. When the Yearning for Sleep Sneaks Up

5. In the words of Lorelai Gilmore "Coffee, Coffee, Coffee"

Oh, so done.

You need sleep, but also have 13 things due in the span of 4 days.

1. When it's December 1 and you have seven things due, three exams, and haven't slept in three days.

2. So you stress.

3. And cry.

4. Then call your mom to cry some more.

5. After the pep talk, you feel determined to get everything done.

6. But, now you're tired.

7. And really hungry.

8. Suddenly, it's 2 a.m. and you have only written three sentences and your paper is due in the morning.

9. You've made it to Friday... somehow.

10. Then Sunday hits and you find yourself back at the Lib.

11. So you cry some more.

12. But, you fight through the tears to get everything done because you're determined.

13. In the end, you feel on top of the world because you made it through the last week of class alive.

14. But, now it's finals week so good luck.

The ultimate list and gif guide to a college student's brain during finals.

What does the world outside the library look like?

Can I read this entire book tonight?

I should have gone to class more often.

Did the professor even teach this?

What is the lowest grade I can get on this exam and still pass the class?

Should I just drop out of school now?

Finals are ruining Christmas.

Just wrote three sentences so time for a break.

Need. More. Coffee.

What is sleep?

I'm too stupid for college.

Brain hurts.

Time for a Facebook Break.

I think I'm dying.

When will I ever need this information in the real world?

I can't read any of my notes.

I need my mom.

When was the last time I showered?

I need study snacks.

The struggle is so real right now.

"I want to thank Google, Wikipedia, and whoever else invented copy and paste. Thank you."

1. I'm so tired. I need a nap. Maybe I can sleep with my eyes open in class? Or pretend I'm not napping?

2. We have a test today? Why didn't anyone tell me? Did I know this?!

3. Can I quit school yet? It's only October, and I need a vacation.

4. The struggle is so real.

5. I'm so broke. SOS.

6. Stressed? Eat everything you own in your pantry and stuff your face with all your feelings.

7. "Did we have anything due in class today? Homework? Quiz? Test?" "Not that I know of..."

8. I need food. Where is the closest place to get food? I need it stat.

9. This is the longest day of my life. I need a drink, or two, or three.

10. Sleep? What is sleep? What a foreign concept.

11. When someone suggests going and studying in the library, let alone studying in general.

12. When the cafeteria or student center is packed and you can't find a seat anywhere so you literally have to sit in an abandoned corner.

13. When you see someone you used to hook up with. They see you, and approach you; so you have to pretend like everything is normal.

14. When you get your exam and realize you didn't study as much as you should have.

15. When you crush it on an exam or paper that you totally bullshitted.

16. I need a grande, extra strong coffee to get me through today.

17. When the professor announces you have a project due the following week with no instruction on what it's on and how to do it.

18. Is it Friday yet? Where's the weekend when you need it most?

19. It's freezing in here. I feel like I'm sitting in an igloo. I should have brought a jacket or worn long pants.

20. Did I remember my book? Damn, I forgot the book, and of course I need it for that quiz in class.

21. I would pay a million dollars to not go to class today; or actually never again.

22. I need a hoverboard to ride to class. Maybe then I wouldn't be running 15 minutes late to class every day.

23. Oh she/he's cute! I wonder if they're single. Who are they texting? They're BF/GF? I wonder if they think I'm cute. Could they be a potential new bae?

24. Why is there never any parking? I pay thousands of dollars a year for one parking spot to be open.

25. When it feels like you've been in class for an hour and you look at your phone and it has only been five minutes (I'm crying on the inside).

26. When the professor asks if there are any more questions at the end of class and someone raises their hand.

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