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Health and Wellness

If Only You Knew Me

The truth we all hide.

14
If Only You Knew Me

HEY, you! Yes! YOU! Why aren’t you smiling that bright, shining smile that lets the world know everything is okay? Why are you facing the cement floor with your headphones in your ears, listening to music that is too loud for your own good (because that can’t be good for your wee-little eardrums to handle)?

Why are you shutting the world out? People come up to you and ask if you’re okay, but you just turn your back on them. Can you not trust people anymore? Has somebody hurt you? Are you fighting off your demons one at a time but they keep coming back (because if that’s the case, demons despise Spongebob Squarepants, put the cartoon on and you’re as good as gold!) What can it be?

Well here's the thing--I want to help you, but what if I can’t help myself?

I look at you and all I see is myself.

A life of shutting the world out because “nobody understands.”

I look at you and I see a bright, intelligent, youthful woman who has the potential to be EVERYTHING she aspires to be.

I look at you and I see a woman who hides from her feelings in fear of being hurt and acting vulnerable (because that is NEVER okay, apparently!).

I look at you and I see a PERSON who wants to defy societal norms, but has too much holding her back.

I see you trying to be good at navigating this wonderful journey we get to call LIFE, but you’re always stopped by something. What is it? What’s holding you back?

I see you want to make a name for yourself and leave your mark on this earth before you leave it (because you never know, anymore).

I also see myself facing down upon that same cement floor and looking back at my life in retrospect. Why do I find it extremely easily to fake a smile in front of a crowd, but once they are gone, it’s a story as it always has been? Dark and depressing.

I question why others can’t be content with their lives and learn to love and grow in spirit; all while not being able to answer my own inquiry.

I look at you and you look at me and we are one person. I am my own worst enemy. We are each others' most vile critics.

Sadness and loneliness seeps through your veins and you’re at an uncontrollable ease even for that one moment because it’s all you know how to be. BUT, something changes within you; you decide to take a look at that deeply depressed girl over there.

Before you know you lock eyes and you finally meet.

That olive skin color, bold brown eyes, highlighted brown hair, topped off with those converse sneakers that I happen to own as well.

If there wasn’t a mirror right in front of her, you wouldn’t believe her if she told you.

Before I know it, I’m face to face with the enemy; me, myself and I. I tell that enemy one thing and one thing only, “I only wish you knew the half of it.”

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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