Dear 14-year-old Me,

Stay away from the cute, blue-eyed boy. He will break your heart more than once and put you through so much. You eventually move on (thank goodness). Plot twist: at 25, he’ll text you the things you’d wished he’d said in high school. For example: how much he misses you. Too bad he’s six years too late.

Academics matter. Stop trying to party all the time and focus on your school work.

Find a passion and pursue it. You will thank me later.

These people don’t matter. Don’t let the opinions of the people in that small town and school bother you. After you graduate, you’ll never see any of them.

Stop fighting your parents. These days (at 25) they are your best friends and you hate that you spent all that time fighting them. Enjoy them.

People are temporary. I cannot stress this enough. They will make leaving look easier than saying the ABCs. This is never easy, not at 18 and not at 25. It’s life.

You will meet two girls, and later, a third. They are the best friends you could ever ask for. Some of your greatest times will be with them, and your lowest. But unlike the rest, they'll never turn their backs on you.

You will move from Bracey. At first, you will miss it so much it hurts. Soon enough you will learn it’s the best thing that could have ever happened to you.

After your move, you will meet three girls, and later a fourth. They will help you realize how good this move was for you. They’re also how you'll keep your sanity.

Let it go. Not everything is supposed to last forever.

You will meet a beautiful, brown eyed boy. STAY AWAY FROM HIM. He will be the most toxic person you’ve ever known. You will get out of this and be stronger because of it.

It will take you three years to get an Associate’s Degree, six to get a Bachelor’s, and surprisingly, after all of that and knowing how much you hate school, you will go for your Masters. Stick with all of it. It will pay off.

“This, too, shall pass.” Don't forget that.

As previously stated, your parents are your best friends. Don’t ever forget that. As much as you think others have your back; they don’t. No one is more real or loyal than your parents.

You move into your own place at 23. Don’t stress, you’ll get the hang of it. You aren’t too bad of a cook either.

Your mother is never wrong about people. She will spot the fake friends long before you. Listen to her.

You will move back to South Carolina. A clean start. This is so necessary.

You will be stuck between two boys, both you’ve known for over 15 years, one you’ve kept in touch with and seen regularly, the other you will reconnect with. You will choose the boy you’ve reconnected with, and hurt the other. You’ll regret this for some time (currently, you still do). Keep in mind, the grass is never greener on the other side, water what you’ve got.

People’s perception of you is not who you are. Let them think what they want, but remember, it does not define you.

You have a good job. You work with children. All of your jobs have been with children. You really have a way with them. You’re creative and still a child at heart, maybe that’s how you can work with them so well. Don’t ever lose this.

A lot of growing up has been a struggle. You made it like this on yourself, you chose the ways that you had to learn the lessons. Maybe, if you’d known then what you know now, you would do things differently, but probably not; you are so hard-headed. Just learn from it. Learn from everything.

And remember, without struggle, there is no progress. It is all part of the story.

Love,

An Older, Wiser, You

P.S. You eventually get a cat. Right now, he’s the closest thing to a long term relationship and child you have.