Do you ever find yourself so overwhelmed by life, so entrenched by the monotonous day-to-day routine that you can't help but turn around and look at the path you have left behind you? It's always those times of extreme desperation, and exasperation, that we turn to our past to find comfort and reassurance that "if we made it through that, this should be a breeze." The other day I found myself doing just this.
I was recovering in my dorm from a rather long, lectured filled day when I stumbled across a pack of old photos I had forgotten I brought with me. As I shuffled through them It was as if I was looking through a slideshow of my life, but one photo in particular left me stunned. It was a photo of me, on a railroad track- I must have been no older than 13 or 14. This particular photo stood out to me, not because of the hue of its slightly over-edited trees, but because of the feeling it invoked inside of me.
While all the photos in the pack gave me a strong nostalgic feeling, this photo left me with much more than that. This time period, the early teens, was a time I can remember clearly but no longer relate to. In an instant of looking at this photo, I remember every important thought, conversation and "crisis" at the time. I could remember all the highs and lows; all the times I thought I had reached my peak and the times I thought were "rock bottom." I remember it like it was yesterday, but now I look at them through a whole new pair of eyes.
It makes me sad, looking back, that I took so many things for granted. Like many before me, I was so occupied by life- trying to make it to the end, which at the time my goal was making it out of the teens to the big TWENTY, that the journey flew by before I even noticed it was gone. Friday, September 16th, my baby sister turned thirteen, and again I was reminded of these feelings. After saying goodbye to my teen years a little over four months ago, I remember them well but it wasn’t until my sister’s birthday that I realized I will never get them back.
You know, life is a tricky thing, and perhaps the hardest part about it is there is no handbook on how to truly enjoy it to its fullest- a “Life for Dummies” so to speak. Wouldn’t that be a best seller? I feel like a “how to” on life should be written by someone who has really LIVED every minute of their lives to the fullest- like Mother Teresa, Gandhi, or Evil Knievel. However, I suppose those people are too busy fully living their lives to write a book on how to live life for the rest of us; in which case I will assume partial responsibility. I will write, here, a few things I’ve learned about the ever-so-fleeting teenage years, and what I would do if I could do it all again.
While the teenage years are a particularly awkward and uncomfortable stage of life, it’s important to love who you are.
Spend less time reading about celebrities you wish to be like on your phone and more time discovering who you are. This is the time for self-discovery and if you don’t take time to bother getting to know who you are- neither will anyone else.
If someone tries to limit your abilities by telling you that you aren’t good enough, limit the weight their words carry in your heart- if you don’t do this it will drag you down.
Accept compliments, but don’t depend on them- their presence is not an indication of your self-worth.
Don’t take yourself too seriously. Success, popularity, money or relationship status does not give you a right to position yourself above others.
Don’t be afraid to make mistakes- everyone does it.
*Make time for your family. This one has a star by it because it is one of the most overlooked lessons on this list, yet it is one of the most important- don’t let this be the one you look back on and wish you can do over.
Don’t be too prideful to go to homecoming/prom alone.
Be open-minded. Learn about the paths others have taken, and if they wander down yours show them the way, but don’t drag them.
Embrace the “suck.” Meaning, take every test, quiz, exam or paper and embrace how much it is going to suck. Learn how to push through and conquer any task in front of you by first acknowledging how much it is going to suck.
Know your worth, and don’t let anyone tax it.
Whether it’s a mean coach who taught you to be tough or your little sister who taught you how to share; you have something to learn from everyone- remember that.
Wear your heart on your sleeve, but have a sleeve of armor.
Allow people to change your life, and you will change theirs.
Don’t be in such a rush to grow up that you miss the growing part.
These are just a few of the lessons I’ve learned along the way- things I wish I knew the first time through. But that is the beauty of life I suppose, the enormity of thing that can be taken in every day- some seen, most missed. To put it into context of something I’m sure we are all familiar with, looking out the window of a fast car. In the back seat, there is a child staring out the window, looking so intently one would think he is acknowledging every blade of grass as it passes him by. Next to him is his older sister, a teenager perhaps, staring blankly at her phone, scrolling through one of the many forms of social media she has posted on within the last hour. Sometimes she will find herself looking outside, maybe catching a beautiful landscape or two- of which she will take a photo of to post and share with her friends. In the front seat, driving, is the father- always looking outside but never really seeing anything other than the task ahead of him- the road. Life has a tendency to be like those beautiful landscapes we pass on our road trips, and we have the choice to be like any of the three passengers. Isn’t it amazing- they are all in the same car, going the same direction, with the same destination but all three of them experienced a different journey. My advice for all you fresh-faced teenagers out there- don’t look back on your life and the time you had and think “if I could do it all again.”
This article is deticated to and written for Emma Patterson. Happy Birthday baby sis- I am so incredibly proud of the young woman you have become.
