So much of what we have was never asked for. We never asked for it, but we do get used to accepting what we get as all we will have.

You don’t pick where you were born. You don’t pick who your family is. You don’t pick your hair texture. You don’t pick your skin color. You don’t pick your talents. You don’t pick your weaknesses. Yet one of the only choices we get, the greatest strength we are privileged to have gets taken for granted. You pick what you spend your energy on, and oh so few of us pick wisely.

Energy is such a precious and fleeting entity. It can be the difference in money made or lost, in bonds formed or broken, and in time well spent or wasted. The physical manifestation of energy often has no relation to whether or not a person finds fulfillment internally. Even scarier? So many of us walk around blind, not realizing how deep our misery gets buried.

You pass by these characters so much, but probably don’t realize. The man you walk by slaves over his work to make income. He spends hours upon hours splitting his time between worrying and working. Not wanting to give up, he continues and eventually ties his value to the bills he brings home. Years will go by, years of his life not trying anything else, years of life he can’t get back.

The woman with her arms crossed sitting beside you just got into a fight with her boyfriend again. Over and over they fight about the same problems. They are toxic, but she can’t seem to let the relationship go. He tries to leave her and she keeps coming back. For a short time, the situation changes, but not before they end up back at square one. Months of ups in exchange for months of downs, yet this seems worth the effort for her.

From the outside, most people would agree that doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting a different result sounds crazy. That’s the funny thing about people; we all have that crazy in us. You couldn’t point to one person on the street who hasn’t spent their time trying to make something out of nothing. That nature in us can build, but sometimes we don’t know when to just put down our tools and look at what we have created.

While generosity without expectation should become part of our daily lives, sometimes we also need to step back. Really think things through and take stalk of what we have before us. Ask ourselves “Who am I really doing this for?” and base our next steps on that answer.

If you can make something from whatever situation you are in, then seek the tools and work hard. But if you sometimes wonder why you’re breaking out so badly, or your sleep has suffered, or you dread the work or person in front of you; if you give your best efforts and still can’t build from your pile, then this could be the time to let go.

We don’t have a say in much else, but at the end of the day, we can choose ourselves. If something or someone no longer gives you what you deserve, don’t fight for the scraps.

Loosen your grip, and let it go.