"Are you seriously going to follow through with that?"

"You're going to end up a miserable cat lady if you do that."

"Don't bring it up again; I don't want to hear it."

We all know that one person or those people in our lives that when we tell them exciting news or share a tentative idea with, they always find something to be negative about. Constructive criticism has its place in this world and is very much welcome, but here we see sarcastic remarks, exaggeration of the negative outcomes and avoidance of the subject.

Giving them the benefit of the doubt, I realize they mean well; they don't want you to fail, so they tell you all the reasons why your idea would be a bad one. Here's the thing though; everyone is different. What's good for one person may not be good for the other. Sometimes we get this feeling that our friends and familyhave to think the way we do, feel the way we do and do the things that we do. There is nothing wrong with thinking that your way is the best way, but we can't use that thought process to try to change or control our loved ones.

I find that there is a happy medium in everything that we do. Sometimes people get stuck on the extremes. We see this same style in parenting. Some people are overly passive; there is no structure, no guidance, and no wrong doings. At first glance it doesn't seem so bad. Sure my loved one is their own person so they should be able to do whatever, whenever and however - which is true to an extent. The reality is that this style is harmful. They could really be doing something dangerous to their wellbeing like drugs or staying in an abusive relationship. On the flip side, there can be too much control. This is the overly critical friend or the controlling parent. Eventually this pushes your loved one away. Plus, we all know that we want what we can't have. Telling your loved one "no" just makes whatever it is all the more appealing.

The best friend is a combination of supportive and critical. A relationship isn't going to work without both, and that concept goes for not only your friends but also your siblings, parents, and significant others. Realizing that your friend is an independent person with their own interests and ideas about life is the first step to having a successful, healthy relationship.