Hey, y'all!
I don't know if or when you will read this, but it means I am no longer here. But before I go, there are some things I have to tell you.
I'm sorry for all the times I gave any of you attitude, or yelled at you, or got frustrated with you. I know you guys didn't mean it, and I really didn't want to, I just couldn't help it. I'm also sorry about all the times when I seemed to get a little too upset about something- whether it was with school, work, or just something I wanted done!
I just take all that stuff very seriously, and when I feel like there's something that needs to get done in a certain amount of time, I panic a little when the "deadline" approaches. My friends (and family members)- I love you, and I love all the good times I spent with you whether it was in or outside classes, or on any kind of trip, or at a party, or a fond memory at work (if you're also a co-worker of mine), anything! They are all times that made me smile.
Also, if you have known me for a really long time I just wanna say, "Thank you" for being with me for so long. To the cousin I'm so close to- I love you to pieces (obviously), and I'm so lucky to have someone I could not only think of as a cousin but also a best friend. I love every fun little memory I have of the times we spent together. Also, thanks for all the advice on fashion, college, friends and roommates, and decorating!
I'm sure I'll see some family members up in Heaven, and when I do I'll be sure to hug them real tight and tell them "hello" for my still-living relatives. If it's true that there are many animals in Heaven, then I'm sure I'll see some of my pets, too. I can't wait to see two of the dogs we had- especially the one I grew up with (I've been dreaming of seeing her again since the day we put her down- she aged too quickly!).
I wish I could come home, I wish I could sit in my room and listen to music; I wish I could go for a drive on the countryside; I wish I could go to the beach and listen to the waves crash against the shore; I wish I could swim in the lake; I wish I could go to the peaceful southwestern part of the state again and see that beautiful area- the mountains and such; I even wish I could hear fireworks on July 4th again. But I can't- not anymore.
Which is why I need you guys to do those things for me. Think of me often, but not too often- I'm flattered you miss me, but I don't want you feeling too sad. I never liked to see people cry, and besides, now I have no way to comfort you. Remember me, love me, talk about me (and to me) as if I'm still there- and I will be in spirit. I'll be walking by your side every step of the way.
Love forever and always,
E.
