As I scroll through feeds on social media I gaze at people making cheer squad. I suddenly remember what it was like myself to be a cheerleader, super fun! I loved getting to support the football players by getting the crowd rowdy. Those days were great.

After remembering the fun I had I start to feel a little sad and jealous. I was a cheerleader a few years ago at my old school. My old school was small and was more classical cheer. Yes, there was stunts but nothing inappropriate or too wild. It was the cheer I loved doing. However, when I moved I was in a whole new game. I didn’t try out for cheer the first time due to a rumor of a new job elsewhere and I wouldn’t want the space to be wasted if I wasn’t there. My second year I tried out. It was way more upbeat and I wasn’t use to it, but I definitely had the spirit for it.

Day and night was spent practicing. Walmart employees even asked was I in cheer and wished me great luck. (Yes, I was practicing in Walmart.) I practiced so much I knew how to do the dance all by myself. I was confident, I had so much spirt and potential, I couldn’t wait.

Tryout day was nerve racking. The older cheerleaders judging and my math teacher, whom of which was the cheer coach had lots of smiling faces to judge. A lot of people were rude so I called my mom. My mom gave me hope so I went out there did my job and from what I thought I nailed it.

At 7:00 the list had been posted and #7 was not up there. I cried for two weeks. I was miserable, and they wouldn’t tell me what to work on. After that I lost a lot of self esteem. I gained most of it back with time but still know what could really happen and what could not.

Last year, my friend, who I’ve known since pre k, informed me my old school needed more cheerleaders. I got excited, but remembered what all I had, I had my schedule set up for me to graduate early. As much as I would’ve loved to cheer I couldn’t. I still think about it a lot and know I have a place. Because, I will always be a cheerleader at heart but I’ll wait till college to cheer again, maybe.