If you've never seen "Friends," please just stop reading and go watch the first episode you can find. They're always on TBS and that is far more important than reading this article.
For those of you still reading: don't you think "Friends" would be so much different if it had been written in 2016? The characters may remain the same, but their stories would be far more relatable. Let's imagine...
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Ross
Ross would be subscribed to Rachel's social media, so that every time she tweets, posts a picture on Instagram, or makes a status on Facebook, he is immediately notified. He accidentally "likes" a picture from 64 weeks ago one afternoon and stomps on his brand new iPhone in a fit of rage. He takes up unagi again. He's being considered for the cast of "The Bachelorette." He's fine.
Joey
Joey would be a background character in "Hamilton," but wouldn't be able to get the gang tickets. What he really means by this is that he actually lost the free tickets he got and is too embarrassed to admit it. "Hamilton" doesn't work out for him, but he made a small fortune and is happy to finally have some free time to spend swiping right on Tinder again. His favorite show is "The Office," and says "that's what she said" just as much, if not more, than Michael Scott.
Rachel
Rachel is obsessed with the "Fifty Shades of Grey" books, and tells Monica and Phoebe that she wishes Ross was more like Christian. She runs a Twitter poll to determine if they were on a break (they were.) She's voting for Hillary, but only because she made a month's rent of commission off of her in one afternoon. She thinks "Lemonade" is a spiritual experience.
Monica
Monica was offered her own cooking show to air right before Rachel Ray, which is why she turned it down. She hates Rachel Ray- she's too perky. She is famous on Pinterest, however, and has 11,000 followers on her "Wedding" board. Needless to say, Chandler is incredibly thrilled by this. She starts a GroupMe for the gang, but Joey just inserts gifs instead of using it for its intended purpose (making sure no one has a reason to be late to her planned events.)
Chandler
Chandler vapes to try to quit smoking. He is now addicted to vaping, and shows Monica his endless smoke tricks every night. He challenges Joey and Ross to do the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge, but they make fun of him because he's about a year too late. He still gets pedicures. No one still knows what he does at work.
Phoebe
"Smelly Cat" goes viral, but she hates the lack of privacy that comes with fame. A group of teens video her yelling at her fans, which also goes viral. People eventually forget about her 15 minutes of fame, and she's never been happier. She has a spot on theory about the real killer in "Making A Murderer." She would go to Bonnaroo every year.
"Friends" in 2016 would be a beautiful thing. The world of social media and modern technology would open those six up to a whole new world of petty arguments, trifle recipes, and doomed relationships- but we'd love them just the same.
