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If College Guys Were Burlington Pizza Places

Apr 20, 2016

CBS Tampa

What two things does the weekend bring? College guys and pizza. The two are more related than you may think. Here's a list of some of the pizza places my friends and I visit most and how they reflect the guys in our lives.

Domino's

This guy is great to hit up on a Friday night when you're not 100 percent coherent, but sober Sally isn't in for the ride. It may taste great when it's covered in ranch, but the pizza itself is pretty mediocre...not to mention the slices are too small.

Leonardo's

This is when you realize that Domino's guy is busy or already passed out, so you hit up Leonardo. The slices are a bit bigger, which makes you question why you ever tried to hit up Domino's in the first place.

Ken's

This is the cute boy in your history class who finally asked you out. You can't see any flaws in him. This seems like a mature relationship, rather than just a late night hookup. He has all the "toppings" you are looking for and you never have to wait around for him. Things between you two go well for a while, but sometimes you feel like you want to change it up. It can be hard to just commit to one pizza place.

Mr. Mike's

The slices are huge and loaded with all of your favorite toppings. The problem? He never comes over to your place and you feel like you're making all of the effort in this relationship.

Manhattan

You don't hit this guy up very often. Why? He lives too close to Mr. Mike's and let's face it, his slices are larger.

American Flatbread

This is the upperclassman you see around the business school that's pure eye candy. This is the guy you want to introduce your parents to. It's the best pizza in town, but the hardest to actually get your hands on. You feel like you're always waiting in line, which causes you to settle for less in the meantime.

Big Daddy's

Your true companion. You may find other pizza's that come along and tease you, but this one's always there for you. He has almost everything you want, including delivery. He may not be as upscale as American Flatbread, but he rarely keeps you waiting. Ultimately, there's more pros then cons which is why it just works.

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If College Guys Were Burlington Pizza Places

Domino's

Leonardo's

Ken's

Mr. Mike's

Manhattan

American Flatbread

Big Daddy's

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No one best represents the struggle like our favorite 90s squad.

1. When course schedules are released and you have a conflict between two required classes.

2. When there is only one section of a popular course.

3. Receiving the 18,000 emails reminding you to register ASAP.

4. When you need to see an advisor, but they are too busy/unresponsive.

5. Trying not to dress like a bum for your appointments with your advisors/department heads.

6. When you have a perfectly planned out schedule, and one class ruins it.

7. Carefully moving things around to accommodate a different class/section.

8. Waking up at 6:00 a.m. for your enrollment time.

9. Concocting a new schedule at your enrollment time after your original plan gets changed.

10. Getting into a class and filling the last available seat.

11. When all of your classes finally go through.

12. Realizing that you forgot a class that was a pre-requisite for everything else.

When your capability of "adulting" is put to the test

Nobody deserves to be living in poverty.

"Nobody living in one of the most influential nations in the world should be worried about making ends meet."

What is the current minimum wage at the federal level?

What are the benefits of raising the minimum wage?

What are the states that have set a $15/hour minimum wage?

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Because who understands your bitterness better than April?

1. When you have to provide an "interesting fact" for your first day ice-breaker.

2. When your professor is babbling on and on in his lecture.

3. When you edit your friend's paper and they get an A.

4. When it's 2 AM and you remember you have a test tomorrow.

5. When you finish taking the test and you're pretty sure you failed...

6. ...but then you get the test back and somehow passed.

7. When you've been up for 12 hours straight writing a paper.

8. And then you manage to stay awake in class the next day.

9. When you have to butter up your professor for an extra credit opportunity.

10. When you're assigned a group project.

11. And your group-mates are trying to chat about life instead of the assignment.

12. When it's your last class of the day and you're about to go home.

13. But then you remember rent is due tonight and the anger comes back.

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