There is a popular saying: "You are what you drink." Just a disclaimer, for the purpose of this article, I may or may not have switched the word "eat" out for "drink". I think it stills works! It may be hard to believe, but the coffee drink of your preference may say a lot about you. Find out which coffee drink you might be!

1. Black Coffee

This girl thinks she is by far the most interesting person in her creative writing group. Every morning, she drinks organic, fresh pressed coffee with no milk or sugar and refuses to try it any other way. She strongly believes that adding milk and sugar ruins the true beautiful flavor of coffee, and is not afraid to voice her opinion whenever she sees someone adding it to their coffee. She often lectures random people in coffee shops. Due to her loud ranting about creamer, she is currently banned from several coffee places. She probably lives in Brooklyn and works at a local bookstore where she fights to keep the use of books alive. It is ironic because she has a kindle, but it’s okay because her parents bought it for her and she rarely uses it. Don't tell anyone, but she sometimes uses it to play puzzle games. She has recently become obsessed with growing plants in her studio apartment. Apparently, it is very difficult to take care of these plants, and everyone knows it because she never fails to bring it up at every social event. She will go on and on about how fulfilling growing her ZeeZee plant is, and nobody ever seems to care. On a Saturday you can find her at a local farmer's market where she “enjoys all the smells and vibrant colors of the fruits and veggies." Recently she has become a vegan after watching a documentary with her documentary club. She started this club with her other culturally aware friends. She live tweeted during the documentary and expressed her outrage towards food industries (#plantbased, #savethecows). She will also bring up how veganism has changed her for the better whenever she eats any morsel of food.

2. Caramel Frappucino (hold the whip, of course)

This girl has three flower headbands for concerts, and she DIY’d them all! Whenever she goes to Starbucks with her friends she gets a Caramel Frap because she doesn’t really like the taste of coffee, plus she still thinks it stunts growth. They ask her if she wants whipped cream and she quickly responds "no" because it’s extra calories she doesn’t need. Smart choice. You can find her jamming out to 5 Seconds of Summer, Lana Del Rey and Drake. She also low-key loves Vampire Weekend. She is going to their concert with her friends, and even though she only knows that one song by them, she is just super excited to wear her flower headband. Speaking of those headbands, she has a DIY Youtube channel. She thinks her dad is so annoying because he always calls them DUI’s instead of DIY’s. He felt bad so he bought her an expensive camera to film her videos on. She has 52 subscribers. The other day she made an Instagram for her dog, Cookie. All the captions are in the point of view of Cookie so it looks like Cookie is the one posting self-obsessed pictures. She posted a picture of Cookie eating a piece of bacon from the table with the caption, “I am just such a little rebel, hope my parents aren’t mad!" She then responds on her personal account, “That’s where all of our bacon went, you crazy dog!" How cute, right?

3. Café Latte

This girl is your most reliable, mature friend making her the mom of every friend group. She orders a latte because she likes the taste with the steamed milk, but appreciates the slight buzz the espresso shot gives. Her ideal night is a casual wine night with some pizza, according to her Match.com profile. Her other hobbies include pilates and getting her teeth whitened. Because her friends always told her in high school she was great at giving advice, she decided to become a therapist. She now works as a successful couples therapist. It is interesting because as she gives people advice on how to better their relationship, she struggles to find Mr. Right. She discovers that she sets unrealistic expectations for men. Whatever, she doesn’t mind it because she likes her independence. She has tons of friends because she is funny, sweet and a great listener. Anyone who is good at listening has a shit ton of friends, duh. All of her fun friends push her every weekend to go out to bars or clubs with them to meet men. To be honest, she doesn't like bars too much. She would much rather chat in a quiet setting over a glass of white wine and a cheese platter. So, she tells her friends she can’t go out because she has to finish binge watching season two of Scandal (#lit).

4. Double Espresso Shot

This girl is our classic, frantic workaholic who has not had fun in five years. She depends on her espresso for survival. She drinks espresso shots at 8 a.m. and at 8 p.m. You guessed it, she doesn't sleep. Unfortunately, she has not slept in two years. The reason she needs her caffeine is because she is battling a grueling job, while trying to pass the Bar examination to become a lawyer. The poor girl, so driven, yet so tired. When you see her on the streets she looks battered and old even though she is 25. The employees in the library have more than once accused her of being a homeless person who lives in the library. That's when you know your life has most likely hit rock bottom. Her parents are always telling her she needs to take time for herself and she must give herself a break before she has a mental breakdown. She finally listens to them, and finds time in her busy schedule to take a trip to Italy with her friend Samantha. She finally lets her hair down, puts on some foundation and enjoys the most out of her trip. At a wine tasting event, she meets a man named Vincenzo. They fall in love after two days of hanging out. He then tells her he is a multi-millionaire and owns the winery and the hotel on the vineyard she is staying at. She decides to leave her life in Manhattan behind, and live with Vincenzo on the vineyard. Vincenzo convinces her to start making her own organic pasta and the pasta is so good, she begins to sell it. You can now find her organic pasta at every Whole Foods in the country. Happily ever after!

Wait, I’m totally kidding. This spun out of control fast. I felt bad for her so I made this all up. She never left Manhattan for a week to go to Italy. How the hell do you think she has time for that? Obviously, she spends all of her free time studying for the Bar exam.

5. Sugar-Free Vanilla Latte With Almond Milk

This girl is the girl you want to be and love to hate. We are calling her Melissa, because I feel like that name works very well for this persona, and it’s on the cup in the picture. Every morning Melissa goes to her local coffee spot where they all know her order by heart. She gets the “I’m obviously living a healthy lifestyle” order. The barista screams when she walks in, “Hey Melissa, how are you sweetheart? Sunny out today, huh? The usual?” They all love her there for some reason, but nobody knows why because she is pretty unfriendly. Maybe she keeps the coffee shop alive because she pays five dollars extra for almond milk everyday. Melissa smiles and nods while writing an email on her iPhone. Of course she works at an advertising agency that does advertisements for fashion and lifestyle brands. Back in college she was the president of Kappa Kappa Gamma where she was awarded for philanthropy! She is such a gem. She does CrossFit about five times a week and has one cheat day a week where she rewards herself a single thin mint cookie. For lunch she eats a light quinoa salad, a raw head of broccoli and a water with lemon. For a snack she splurges on a $18 juice with kale, apple and spinach. Even though it tastes like dirt and grass, she drinks it because she is convinced it clears up her skin. She resides in Los Angeles with her investment banker boyfriend or some job that makes a lot of money— you guys decide. Last year she bought a fully renovated townhouse in Santa Monica. She posted on Facebook telling everyone that she is finally a proud homeowner. Yay Melissa! She got about 305 likes because everyone just freakin' loves Melissa.

FYI: This all stems from my obsession with coffee. These are not real. These are just stereotypes I made up. So if you are a black coffee loving DIY queen who is studying for the Bar exam, good for you! Do you, ladies!