My entire life, being a twin is something that has defined me. My identical twin sister Annie has been by my side from the beginning, which has often proved to be an enormous blessing in nearly every area of my life. She was constantly around to push me out of my comfort zone, motivate me to do my best, and make me laugh. I always knew how blessed I was to have her in my life and recognized that a huge part of who I am is because of Annie; however, I never fully acknowledged just how big of an impact having a twin has had on my outlook of the world until recently. Specifically, I didn’t realize how much my identical twin has changed the way that I view appearance.

Fundamentally, it makes sense to think that having a person in my life that looks just like me would cause me to think differently about how I look than someone who doesn’t have that. Typically, individuals are their own person, with their own minds, and with their own appearances. In my case, Annie and I are individuals with our own minds — but we have the same face. Growing up, I sometimes struggled with this because I felt that looking like Annie took away from my individuality. At a point when I was younger, I was worried that I would never get married or date anyone because no one would care enough to learn how to tell us apart or like me as an individual. As I got older, though, I realized how wrong I was to worry about these things as they represent a viewpoint regarding image that is skewed, misguided, and, ultimately, detrimental.

Overall, it is considered that a person is made up of two basic pieces that define them: mind and body. In my experience, I have found that these two things are often thought of separately and given equal caliber when weighted. However, I believe that the two are very much interlinked; more than that, I believe that the body can only be used to define an individual to the extent to which it reflects the mind. What I mean by this is that our appearances can be used to say a lot about who we are—through our clothes, facial expressions, how we carry ourselves, and the manner in which we do things. This is because these are all things that can be used as visuals for the happenings in our minds. Simply accounting for the way that someone looks when defining them is an ineffective method if their minds aren’t taken into consideration. Annie and I are living proof of this because we look alike but have very different personalities.

Furthermore, sharing a face has unveiled to me the true lack of depth behind being called “pretty” or “attractive.” While being the recipient of this remark can be flattering and it is often said with kind intentions, the knowledge that there is another person who could have just as easily received the same compliment allowed me to put it into perspective. In fact, Annie and I will frequently share when someone calls one of us attractive with the other and say “I guess this is a compliment to you, too.” There is nothing wrong with being called pretty; however, it should not be used as a compliment to the individuality of a person, because it has nothing to do with their individuality. That said, a person should never allow their opinion of someone to be influenced because they think they are attractive, since “pretty” is not a defining characteristic of an individual — and this is true for all people, not just identical twins. People should be liked or disliked for who they are. And what a person looks like only defines who they are if it is a reflection of their mind. Because of this, positive comments regarding my appearance rank very lowly on the list of compliments I would like to receive. Even if it’s not a compliment, I would rather a person comment on something that acknowledges my personality rather than my appearance because it proves that they put a bit of effort into getting to know who I am beyond what I look like.

Ultimately, I am not saying that appearance doesn’t matter at all, but that it should not be given so much power in how people define others and themselves. I know that I am more than just a face and a body because there is another person in the world with the same face and body as me, and I’m not her! When thought about this way, it makes sense and even sounds ridiculously obvious. Why, then, do so many people define themselves and others based on how they look? How can a person’s appearance speak to their personality if it doesn’t reflect anything about their mind? Being a twin has taught me that how a person looks is not who a person is. Everyone should be proud of the way they look because, if you strip down past the trivialities of weight, bone structure, height, etc., all that is left in someone’s appearance are the things that showcase who they are, and, in individuality is beauty.