Ancient Times

In ancient Rome, the popularity of pale skin drove some European women to cut and bleed themselves to achieve the translucent look. Have freckles? The best remedy for fading freckles was to use the urine of a young boy as a face wash. The whole pee smelling, anemic look really got the Romans going.

In China, noble women had their feet bound as children to achieve the desired small foot size and attract a husband. Peasants needed to be able to walk, noble women just needed to sit around. Don’t ask your mom to do it though because chances are she’ll be too nice and not break all of the bones necessary.

Medieval Times

Contrary to ideals now, the perfect woman was supposed to be overweight because if you were skinny that meant you probably couldn’t afford food and who wants to get with a peasant? It wasn’t until after the rise of Christianity that slender women were painted more often. This is most likely due to seeing gluttony as a sin. No one wants to be with someone destined to hell for being fat. Women would often shave their hairline to make their forehead appear larger and therefore seem more intelligent. However, this intelligence could not be demonstrated because the prim and proper wife rarely left the house and wasn’t to speak in public. Above all, she must be a pure woman. In the story of the Rape of Lucretia, after being “soiled” by a roman soldier, Lucretia kills herself from the shame and is revered as a heroin for doing the honorable thing.

16^th Century (Elizabethan Era)

People were dying to look like Queen Elizabeth…literally. The white powder worn by women to achieve the pasty look was often made of lead, which is really poisonous. Especially when you paint it onto your face on a daily basis. A safer way to maintain the pale look was to wear a visard mask to cover your face from the sun as you traveled. Warning: there were no breathing holes so you could pass out. Remember to suffer in silence though because of the 6 virtues of a woman: Chastity, Silence, Modesty, Reticence, Sobriety, and Obedience.

18^th Century

Thanks to the extravagant court of King Louis XVI, big hair and butts were in. Women would wear wigs up to three feet tall that weighed as much as sixty pounds. Forget sitting down to rest, that couldn’t be done in the wooden hoop skirts that might prevent you from walking through doorways. Some women would pluck out their eyebrows completely and then glue on mouse fur to get that perfect arc. The personality of the ideal woman still hasn’t changed much from the “seen not heard” expectation. Any variation from the passive, domestic and loving wife was viewed as hysteria – a mental ailment of women with symptoms such as nervousness, insomnia, sexual desire, and the overarching theme of “a tendency to cause trouble.” This could lead to being forced into an asylum or to undergo a hysterectomy.

19^TH Century (Victorian Era)

The Gibson Girl drawing, by Charles Dana Gibson, embodied the essence of beauty. She had an unnaturally small waist achieved by a tight corset that would cause constipation and intestinal discomfort. Unlike the Victorian era, makeup was now seen as gaudy and uncouth, something only worn by prostitutes. Some religions even claimed it was the work of the devil. Kate Chopin described the Gibson girl as “a strong woman who knows her place but continues to push against societal norms in a gentle, persuasive way.”

Roaring 20’s

A dramatic change occurred in the 1920’s for women’s style. Gone were the hourglass figures, now it was all about the flat, straight body. Women would bind their chests with strips of fabric to achieve the boyish look that often accompanied the short, bob hairstyle. The 20’s woman was young and spirited, someone who enjoyed dancing and wore thick dramatic makeup, but always remained lady like.

The 40’s

With World War II in full swing, the perfect woman was fully embodied in Rosie Riveter. She was a patriotic girl with more feminine hair and a toned body. Gone was the preference for weak, pale girls. For the first time being tan was thought to be beautiful and the working girl was admired for her patriotism. That was until all the soldiers got back and women were told to go back to being housewives (where they truly belonged).

The 50’s

The 50’s were the time of the housewife, when a woman’s life revolved around marrying a man, raising kids, and making your husband happy. In an article about how to be a good wife, House Keeping Monthly said: "Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.” Women were to attract a man with their voluptuous Marilyn Monroe figure and to always dress proper, even if their day was only filled with screaming kids and serving beer to your husband.

The 80’s to Now

Big hair, broad shoulders and lots of curves were the new fad. The exercise show kick made the toned body a must. The desire for a muscular body started to fade into the “Heroin Chic” look seen on many magazines. Kate Moss is accredited to being one of the first underweight models to set the new standard for beauty. She is famously known for saying “Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.” Eating disorders and plastic surgery both sky rocketed in an attempt to obtain the impossible body image.

Besides being unnaturally skinny, the ideal woman is now the "Cool-Girl." Gillian Flynn perfectly summarizes who this new "it girl" is in her book Gone Girl. “Being the Cool Girl means I am a hot, brilliant, funny woman who adores football, poker, dirty jokes, and burping, who plays video games, drinks cheap beer…. and jams hot dogs and hamburgers into her mouth like she’s hosting the world’s biggest culinary gang bang while somehow maintaining a size 2, because Cool Girls are above all hot. Hot and understanding. Cool Girls never get angry; they only smile in a chagrined, loving manner and let their men do whatever they want. Go ahead, sh*t on me, I don’t mind, I’m the Cool Girl.”

We look back on these insane fashion trends and think: “Why would anyone put their body through that?” We judge and laugh at the idiocy, but in two hundred years people might be looking at our history and see how women starved themselves, paid surgeons to transform their faces, tanned their skin at the risk of cancer, ingested chemicals to lose weight, and lied about who they truly were all for social acceptance and love.