Recruitment is a stressful time for everyone involved. There's the planning, the buying, the creating, the talking, the wooing, the yelling, and the stressing. Both the girls recruiting and the girls being recruited have worries and are most likely stressing a lot more than they should. Stressing could lead to asking icebreakers you wouldn't normally ask and thus creating a different outcome during the recruitment process.
No matter if you're going through recruitment during the fall semester, or the spring semester; going through it alone or with a group of friends, everyone must find their place. Asking the right questions in recruitment will lead you to the place you belong, as cliche as it sounds.
Other than being openminded, just be your best self and you'll go where you belong. In the meantime, to prepare some questions is the best way to keep the conversation going. You'll also be asked a lot of questions about yourself so be sure to answer them to your best ability.
Here are some icebreaker questions to avoid saying or asking during recruitment:
1. What's your reputation on campus?
Oftentimes, it's a no-no to ask about a sorority's reputation when you have the opportunity to ask questions for recruitment. You probably already know it and if you don't that's okay because the reputation can lead you to be close-minded and you may act differently towards the girls, which can show that you're not interested in them.
If you're saying to yourself "Oh that's what I want, to show my disinterest", then re-evaluate how you're thinking. Don't try to fit in with the crowd, go where you feel like you belong.
Instead of asking this, try asking about the sorority's involvement on campus or how being involved in a sorority has helped the girl you're talking with, with on campus life.
2. What frats do you have mixers with?
This is part of the "three b's" (Boys, Booze, and Brands) to avoid asking. Questions like these give off the feeling that you only care about partying and hooking up with boys and frankly that's not professional and you would never ask that in a job interview. Most sororities are looking for someone who is well-rounded and not just a party girl, or has a 4.0, or is involved in a lot of other clubs.
It won't make you seem cool and they will not be impressed by your questions if they are in the "three b's" category.
3. Don't you want to introduce me to some of your other sisters?
This is something a girl asked me my VERY first party of my first recruitment and I was so thrown off. We were having a good conversation and she throws me that question when she finished answering mine. I was caught off guard and I'm pretty sure I turned red in the face.
Recruitment questions like these are rude and you would never to think to ask someone you're just meeting about their other friends so why would you ask something like that during recruitment?
4. I really don't like (other sorority name)
Talking bad about a sorority is another red flag. If you have negative feelings toward another sorority, keep them to yourself. Don't even talk to your friends or other girls going out for recruitment because you never know whose opinion you're changing or harming.
5. I really want(other sorority name)
Saying you want another sorority tells the girl you're speaking with that you are not open-minded and probably will be miserable if they give you a bid. PLUS if you start off a conversation with an icebreaker like this, there will probably be a huge shattering noise because that's how hard the ice was broken.
6. "I don't think I can afford being in a sorority"
If you say this, the girl you're talking to will most likely answer with something about the payment plan, working with the treasurer, and telling you some ways that some of the sorority pays. Try avoid saying this, only because it lessens the chance of getting a bid. It is also part of the "three b's" (Brands), which also includes everything involving money.
7. "I looked all of the sororities up on Greek Rank"
DEFINITELY do not share this because Greek Rank is mostly girls from each sorority on campus, bashing other sororities and promoting their own. 12/10 do not recommend.
8. "All of my friends are in this sorority"
It doesn't matter how many girls you know in the sorority, the girls that know you shouldn't get to talk to you in a party and you shouldn't say who you know in the sorority to the girl you're talking to. If you come across the sorority on campus and happen to meet a couple of girls, perfect! Name dropping is never a good idea, even if you have nothing negative to say about them.
9. Does my makeup look okay? I feel like my eyeliner is smudged.
Make sure your appearance is the best for you before you go in. Don't ask a member you're talking to about your appearance because it seems unprofessional and a bit insecure. It's totally normal to feel nervous but go in seeming like you're confident that you look and feel your best
10. I'm sorry I get super sweaty when I'm nervous
Not only is it kind of gross to tell someone you don't know that you profusely sweat when you're nervous, but no one wants to know how much you're sweating in a hot room that probably smells like girl. This also goes for any personal issues that you normally wouldn't share with a stranger.
11. I'm so tired/ This is a lot/ I can't wait to be done with this
Basically, anything that's negative don't say. We are all going through the same thing and everyone's tired and everyone's done. Shut up and stay positive, because at the end of the week, you'll be given a bid and that's all that matters.
