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The Ice Skating Rink : AKA Ice Hell

The most vulnerable experience known to man (besides childbirth for women).

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The Ice Skating Rink : AKA Ice Hell
Dewey DellaMaggiore

Do you ever wish you could just be in a place of no judgment? I mean, especially during the holiday season. There are all those goodies that are like a million calories and you gain a million pounds but you have to look good 24/7 for all the parties that are happening left and right. But like you can’t win, you just either look fat and be food happy or look fab and starving. I hate my life….

Well anyways, there is a place of no judgment or scorn that I have just rediscovered after 15 years. A place where no matter what shape or size, you fit in and no one gives two hoots about you. Where if you’re a mess, it is welcomed and not frowned upon. You can be on your ass and no one will condemn you for being there and not getting up, nor will they judge you for how you got there.

That’s right friends, I am talking about the ice skating rink.

HAVE YOU BEEN?! Like as an adult? Because it is quite frankly the best thing I have ever done in a really long time. My boyfriend took me as part of my Christmas present and we went to The Coronado Hotel in San Diego and literally ice-skating by the ocean in 60 degree weather (don’t hate us Californians). I think his intent was for it to be this romantic thing like in the movies and we would just hold hands and glide. There was no glide. Not one bit of it. There was a scoot scoot tip tip fall KABOOM!

I had the best abs workout of my life that day.

B (my guy) fell within 7 seconds of being on the ice, but that wasn’t even the best one! He went for the wall as any amateur did (don’t judge him, there is no judging in ice skating article world) and decided to move his feet and not his arms or move his arms and not his feet? I don’t know, all I know is that I turned around to one leg split up in the air with him gripping onto the wall for dear life as he went down so hard I think the Zamboni had to come out and fix the crack he made in the ice. I straight up cried. But that’s not even the best part! Some little girl “skates” up to him as he makes his way up towards my hunched over body and she says in her I’m an ice skating know-it-all because I’ve been on the ice for 10 minutes and you only 3 voice and says to B, “You’ve got ice all over your back.” The full potential of his fall had just been reached.

It’s quite the event; onlookers sit at tables outside of the rink just watching adults and kids eat sh*t like it’s their jobs. The best watching them trying to save themselves from falling; it just turns into this epic on-pointe ballet routine. And it never gets old. If you are having a bad day, just go to an ice skating rink and watch everyone just fail. But everyone, especially onlookers, appreciates their failure!

I quite honestly have not seen so much laughter and smiling and joy through utter failure, especially at a sport. Also, in this moment, I would like to recognize actual real-life ice skaters, props to you all. I don’t understand you. But truly this place is amazing. Not to get inspirational with you all, but if you want like a day of just pure laughter and bliss but also bruises and to get really sweaty, this is amazing.

Okay, that’s it, just some story telling this week, peace out friends.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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