When I was younger, I would lie in bed and ask my mom if my dad and she would be together forever. She would always reply "Yes honey, your dad and I are like Cinderella and Prince Charming". Well, in the story, I can recall Cinderella, an ugly step mother, two ugly stepsisters, and Prince Charming; I don't seem to remember the part when Prince Charming leaves Cinderella for Belle. My father was an excellent man, he cooked a breakfast that woke everyone up on Sunday mornings, had the upmost respect given to him as senior chief in the Coast Guard, and gave the most confusing signs on if to bunt, hit, or steal from third base. My dad was my best friend; he was excited to see me every day until the day that the Coast Guard shipped him out to California and he found someone else to get excited about.
I began playing softball when I was eight and from the day I started, he was my coach. He motivated me every day, and it landed me a spot on the "All-star" team. The third year of all-stars, I decided it would be my last year in a recreational league and our very last game was the Southeast Conference championship. This was the game we all wanted to win for my dad. We ended up winning against our rival and taking home a three-and-a-half foot tall, red trophy. My dad pulled my team into a circle and I knew what he was about to say- "Guys, these few weeks have been amazing with y'all, I couldn't imagine a better group, and I have loved getting to know y'all and loving y'all as if you are one of my own," Dad was telling us he was leaving the next week to live in San Francisco, California for one year.
Those few days were slammed-packed with getting him packed and ready to drive across the country. The night before he left I stayed at my friend's house to go to the mountains. As he was dropping me off, we had a talk. I told my dad over and over "don't forget about me", and he said the same right back, we both cried, hugged, and said "See ya later!".
Many months flew by and he visited a few times and about six months later, it was time for my sister, my mom, and I to go out and see him! Oh, the excitement! As we came out of the terminal, my sister and I ran and jumped into his arms, soaking his shirt with our tears because it had been way too long. We stayed for a week and during that we tried all different flavors at the Ghirardelli chocolate factory, we toured Alcatraz and Al Capone's cell, and my favorite thing was when we went to go see the house used for the show "Full House". Every night, we'd watch TV and around ten-o'clock, Dad would go out for a ride on his street bike and wouldn't be back for hours. Being eleven, I thought he was having a fun ride; my thirteen-year-old sister and my mom had other ideas.
We traveled back home to Virginia the next week, and a few months later, Dad was coming home! Mom, so loving and amazing, flew across the country to move him back home. They started their journey across the United States and on the night of the first drive, my dad told my mom "I don't want to be married to you anymore, I'm not in love with you anymore". They hardly talked the entire trip and you could feel the awkwardness in the air, until finally, they returned to Virginia.
The first couple of nights my dad slept with my mom in her room. One night, he went to sleep before my mom, and he yelled out a woman's name over and over. A few nights after Dad moved to the couch, he and Mom called my sister, my sister, and I into the living room and told us to sit down. I sat with Mom on the loveseat and my sister sat on a stool. The next hour turned the living room into an ocean. "Your mom and I are getting a divorce". There, it's out in the open, and it's said. Why, you ask? "Because he just doesn't love me anymore, sweetie". I distinctly remember looking my dad in the eye and saying "but you two are supposed to be Cinderella and Prince Charming!" which made my dad tear up. After my sister calmed down and wasn't hyperventilating anymore, they then told us that because of our ages, we may choose who we live with, Mom, who has been there our entire lives and is someone we can relate to because we are all girls, or Dad, who goes on trips all the time, gets stationed somewhere different every few years, and does not understand how a period works. When my sister came out and said, "I think it would be best if I lived with mom", Dad cried. When I came out with a crumpled up, tear soaked piece of paper that had " mom" scribbled across it, he cried and went out into the shed in the backyard for the rest of the night.
A few months passed, my dad moved out and was on his own. He was living his new life, in his apartment. We had it set up so that my sister and I would go over to stay with him every other weekend. Locking himself in his room became a routine and we would just hear him talking to himself in the room. We would find random things around the house that a man, who is living on his own, wouldn't normally have lying around. A scrunchie in the car, dog food under the cabinet, and a hair clip on his nightstand were all found, but when we asked him, all we got was "Oh it's probably one of yours that got caught up in my stuff", "it's for the dog upstairs", or "it belongs to my friend at work and it's there so I remember to give it to her." All logical excuses, but, nothing seemed to add up.
One day at a softball tournament in October, my dad came to support me. After our last game of the day, all four of us went out to the car and sat by the car. My dad looked at my sister, mom, and I and told us he had a girlfriend, and they had discovered that she was pregnant. Immediately I get super excited, I'd always wanted a little sibling, it had only ever been me and my sister. I asked her name, what she looked like, every question imaginable. She was the woman he had yelled out in his sleep and within the next few weeks, she flew in from California to meet my sister and me. She had medium length brown hair and was tall. My mom has short blonde hair and is short.
Over the following months her belly grew bigger and bigger. She would come visit all the time and would cook, play Mario Kart, watch movies, and was just fun overall. May comes and Dad flew out because it was almost time for my little brother to be born. Two days before he was born, they decided then would be a good time to get married. My little brother was born on May 18th, 2011 and was beautiful.
Months would pass, and as he grew older, so did I. As I got older and into being a teenager, I put two and two together, low and behold, I got four. Did he really go on those bike rides when we went to visit? Why did my dad love my mom so much when he moved out there but when it was time to come back, he didn't love her anymore? Why was he so quick to move on and get a girlfriend as soon as he left my mom? Is this why my sister is so depressed? The big question hit me- did my dad cheat on my mom with this new woman?
"This can't be true, this can't be! I mean, it's dad? Dad wouldn't do something like this to her, to us! Or would he?" - This ran through my head like all day, all night from the moment I thought about it. I talked to my sister about it, my sister told me yes, he did. I talked to my mom about it, Mom said yes, he did. She had a lot of proof and someone we all know called her and told her "Your husband has someone over here." Around my dad's house, they had pictures out that had the date from which they were taken; they were taken when my dad was still married to my mom and he wasn't wearing his wedding ring. Thinking about how fast he got with her and how fast she got pregnant. After seeing all the proof, I took it to him. One winter night before softball practice, Dad was to drop me off and Mom was to pick me up. Being thirteen-years-old, this was ballsy, I had never stood up to my dad before. I was about to go inside, I stopped, turned around, looked my dad square in the eye, and said "I need you to be one hundred percent honest- did you cheat on my mom?" He looked so shocked and betrayed until he replied with "No, Caitlin, I didn't." After that, I got out of the car as he screamed at me to stay in, I ran in to practice, and did not speak to my father for a month.
Five years later, I have forgiven my dad. He hasn't done me wrong since then, and, I'm a forgiving person. I now have two little brothers rather than just the one. I love them both with all of my heart as they are not to be blamed for anything; they are something that happened because of the cheating. My sister is no longer depressed and I no longer hold a grudge. Am I mad that because of their decisions, my family is broken into two? Yes. Am I mad that he lied to my face? Hell yes. But, am I mad that I have two beautiful little brothers now? No. Am I mad that I get to love these boys and watch them grow up? Hell no. This divorce was a huge part of my life. My dad was my best friend, and I watched him leave me and find a new best friend, and I didn't even know it. Now as I am an adult, I still don't understand the situation. A part of me wants to understand that he told me he didn't cheat to save me from the hurt, but another part just doesn't understand why he wasn't honest. But what I know, I love my parents, all three. They each had a major part of raising me, and I would not want this life any other way. Sure, I wish I had never turned eleven, but I am so happy that I turned twelve.
