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Student Life

I Stopped Apologizing Unnecessarily And You Should Too

Learning to be conscious of my apologies and why I'm apologizing.

Hope M. Fairchild

Jul 01, 2018

Illinois State University

280

I Stopped Apologizing Unnecessarily And You Should Too

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I realized recently that I need to stop apologizing. Maybe it was my friend who made me keep a "Jarry" (sorry jar) where I had to deposit a quarter every time I said "sorry" unnecessarily. Maybe it was the fact that apologizing for everything didn't get me anywhere. If anything, my endless apologies made me seem like a pushover. Whatever it was, I do much better when I only apologize for things I need to.

I've struggled with apologizing too much for as long as I remember. When someone bumped into me in the hallways at school, I said, "Sorry! I was in your way." It seemed as though I was apologizing for simply existing. Why is it that I felt I should apologize for everything? Perhaps it was this guilt weighing on my shoulders for being a burden.

But I'm a person too. I'm on this Earth to live just as much as anyone else. I shouldn't need to apologize for being here and living my life. Don't get me wrong - apologies are still important. I know (most of the time) when I've messed up and need to ask for forgiveness. I want to make sure people know I am sorry when I have good reason to be. However, I decided to stop with the endless apologizing for things I can't control or that are just part of my nature. I think especially as a woman I have grown up believing I need to feel guilty for taking up any space in the world whether that's in my work or personal life. I am just as deserving as the next person. I should be able to speak my mind and live without fear or guilt, and you should too.

If you are one of those people who feels guilty about every little thing you do, stop to think about why you're apologizing.

Did you do something wrong? Do you need to apologize for your actions? Are you apologizing just to appease the other person? Are you apologizing just because you feel unnecessary guilt? Taking the time to think over why you're apologizing can make all the difference. You may begin to realize a trend of unnecessary apologizing on a daily basis - as bad a habit as saying "like" in every sentence you speak. We are taught that we need to feel guilty for things we should not be guilty for. Let's break this trend by becoming more aware of what we're apologizing for and why.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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