“Love is patient, love is kind, it does not envy, it does not brag, it is not puffed up, or does not behave inappropriately, it does not seek its own way, it is not provoked, it keeps no account of wrong, it does not rejoice over injustice but rejoices in the truth; it bears all things, it believes all things, it hopes all things, it endures all things." - 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
I have recently tried to consciously apply these to all of my relationships and friendships. I want to love everyone in the way that God wants me to, but it's hard. I'm human who has been hurt and, like many people, has trust issues. But I'm trying.
Patience has always been a struggle for me because I am an instantaneous person. I want answers, forgiveness, and acceptance fast. However, I know that those things take time and patience. Every situation I'm in where my habits tell me to push for instance.
I have to remind myself that love is patient. I'm trying.
I am not always kind nor do I neglect envy. I say what's on my mind which sometimes is unkind and out of envy. I have hurt many people because of these personal flaws. I often want what others have: materialistic and relational. I have to constantly remember that my love must be kind and not envious because other people deserve the right kind of love. I'm trying.
I am the first person to brag about my own accomplishments. I don't think that it always comes out of mean or rude place, but many times it comes from a place to outdo others. I have always been aware that I am not the best-looking female nor am I the richest nor the smartest. Therefore I try to use my accomplishments to boast about things I've done in spite of my insecurities. I now try to only bring up my own accolades when the time calls for it and in a non-demeaning manner. I'm trying.
Behaving inappropriately and seeking my own way have always been two major flaws in my life. I attempt to do things my own way, including love, which often times can lead to bad behavior. I try to love in a way that is all about receiving love back and when it doesn't happen the way I plan I can get very angry. I take my disappointment and turn it into anger, unkindness, and resentment. I am currently teaching myself how to love people unconditionally instead of for a return of the love. I'm trying.
The next section of the verse hasn't been a big issue for me. I was raised knowing that when people are handed injustice we push for proper justice. Once that justice is received we celebrate. I know that love is the main pillar in this foundation. Although I don't always follow this to a tee, I'm trying.
“It bears all things, it believes all things, it hopes all things, it endures all things."
I have to tell myself that no matter what I have endured I must keep loving people like they deserve. I must allow my love to bear through all the lies, believe all the truth, hope for a better future, and endure the pain. I know that these flaws in me will not change overnight nor will they be done subconsciously. I have to consciously remind myself that this is how love isn't supposed to be. I'm trying and I'm succeeding.
