I don't have a specific memory of a time or place that inspired me to read books. It's just something that I know I have loved to do since as long as I could remember. In elementary school, the highlight of my week was when my mom would take me to the public library. As a kid it looked huge - and it is a pretty big library - and I took out all of the books that I wanted to.
In middle school, my mom started leaving me at the library while she ran errands. I told my mom that my dream is to have my own little library in my own house. So, she started buying me books one by one when she could. This is, understandably, only when she has enough money and when it is a book that I strongly desire.
High school came around and I got busier. The workload was heavier; I was on the yearbook staff; I was in color guard and other activities. Reading a book was interesting when it was for my own pleasure.
My confession comes here: I did like the books that my teachers assigned, but when I had to annotate and analyze wording, I just hated it. I could barely perform the task well.
Even though I major in journalism and even though I read books, English class was a huge struggle. I've always been aware of this contradiction. I had no problem in math and science yet I had no interest in studying it. I struggled for a B in English class, but here I am writing articles. I remember visiting my teacher after school to ask for help, but I left the same way, not understanding what on Earth am I supposed to write when I analyze books and plays.
This did not kill my love for books. I just did not particularly enjoy pinpointing the writing styles and devices or explaining why that wording was used. It's always been difficult to explain, but annotating literature personally took away my enjoyment of the book. And no, this doesn't mean that I don't appreciate the thought that was put into the writing style by the author.
I used to think it was so embarrassing to say that I sucked at annotating literature or that I had no interest in it. I felt like saying that I wasn't fond of it meant that I wasn't smart. I don't feel that way anymore because we all have different interests and tastes and well, I'm not perfect.
A small detail, but I also didn't like putting sticky notes in my book to avoid writing on the pages for annotations.
Reading is still a hobby that calms me down and fills my heart with all sorts of emotions. As I get busier, I have less time to read, but I will continue to dedicate even the smallest amount of time to it. Maybe I'm not the only reader out there who feels this way, but getting that off my chest is a major relief.
It may seem small, but it means a lot to me that my mom always supported my love for reading and took time out of her day to take me to the library. I hope she gets to see my own little library one day.
In the meantime, I'll keep reading and enjoying my hobby.
