Having a best friend since the age of four is something that can be amazing, in my case it was the complete opposite. Since the age of four until I was about 16, I did not know a life without my best friend.
We had class together, played together, and did almost everything you can think of together. For me having her in my life was normal and her not being in it was something that I did not want to even imagine.
Since I can remember she treated me like I was there to cater to her needs.
During that time, it seemed normal as I was used to her and did not know any better. Things I did not realize where wrong with my friendship as a teenager, is something that I know would not allow now that I am an adult. When she didn't feel like doing her homework, I would do it for her. If I told her I liked a boy, she would flirt with him. Anything that I ever thought of doing she tried to do it before I did or devalue everything that I did, including losing eighty pounds in middle school. She would tell me that I looked better before and that somehow being healthy and working out was 'overrated'. I could not tell you how many times I would walk of her house feeling defeated.
Every time I would make an excuse for the way she was treating me.
After years of friendship, there came a point where tensions were high between me and her and the end of our friendship became a reality. Being the over sensitive person that I am, I cried over our friendship being over and was sad for weeks. I would walk by places and remember all the moments that we had together. During that time I did not realize that positive changes were to come.
Weeks passed and I found myself being happier than I ever remember being.
I was making new friends, I started doing yoga, and even found myself going out even more. My confidence grew and I felt and looked better than before. The new friends that I gained taught me what real friendship looked like, that friends are meant to support each other and provide relief and a listen ear when needed.
Even though I spent much of my life looking back with relief that she eventually left my life, I should thank her. Thank her for teaching me what friends really should be.
