As many do, I used to adore singing in the shower
It was, if only for a few minutes, an escape
But then he told me it was the worst sound he had ever heard
He made me promise to never make anyone else have to hear it
I don't sing in the shower anymore
When I was 5 or 6 I mastered the culinary feat of making the "perfect" piece of toast
I wanted to show off my newfound skill
But he turned the knob to the highest setting when I wasn't looking, burning the toast to a crisp
He told me I was a terrible cook
I didn't attempt to cook again until I was almost 20
Back when you had to watch TV live, I left the room during a commercial break
When I returned, he had taken over the room and TV
I demanded, rather incessantly, for him to put my show back on
He launched the remote across the room at me
Leaving an identical impression, which would later bruise, on my thigh
I stopped watching TV in the living room after that. I would lock myself away in my own room for hours instead
I was always bigger than my friends growing up
I innocently wanted to dress like them to fit in
In retrospect, it usually involved trying to squeeze into clothes which were too small for me
On my way out of the house one day, he stopped me
He told me it was a good thing I dressed like a whore because no man would ever like me for my personality
I dressed provocatively from that moment on just to spite him
Or, maybe partially, because I feared he was right
I moved out recently, and truly realized that life isn't meant to be lived that way
His mere presence was like having a constant grip around my neck
Slowly and painstakingly cutting off my oxygen supply
His words hurled me to the ground and continued to knock me down if I ever tried to get up
He may have never hit me with his hands, but he still managed to leave me battered and bruised more times than I could count
