I was raised to always help others. It’s very simple, do what you can, offer what you have, and just be there for people. I have to wonder why it’s so hard for other people to do that for me.
I look back on everything I’ve done for people, and I realize I did a shit ton, probably more than I should have. I opened up my house when they couldn’t pay, I provided for them when they couldn’t clothe themselves, or I even fed their children. Sadly, most people took advantage or manipulated me, but honestly, it says more of them than it does for me. No matter how much you do for people, they see it as nothing, “It’s just pocket change, it isn’t my money I’m spending.” I care too much for people, and I sympathize easily. This will forever be my Achilles Heel. This is the time that I could use a little assistance. Yet, everyone seems to look the other way. They are so “blinded”, they can’t see the ones struggling right in front of them. It feels almost as if I have no one. I could never ask someone to help me, my mom didn’t raise me that way. I always had to learn to figure things out myself, but sometimes we can’t always figure it out. Sometimes we need a little help.
I, for one, dread asking for help. I constantly feel like a burden. I always feel like I’m in the way, and have this urge to just leave the state or something. Obviously I won’t leave, but I feel everyone, at somebody point, has felt it would be easier if they weren’t “in the way”. I just want for people to consider someone else other than themselves. Just for once think of the people you’re affecting. For once, pause your life, and help someone who obviously needs it. I remember when I did for you, without hesitation.
I suppose that’s the difference between myself and everyone else. I will put my life and my needs or wants on hold to help someone who needs it. I’ve honestly never been more frustrated with anyone more than I am now. I don’t understand how they can’t see it. How is it so easy for me to see when someone needs help? Perhaps I am just drawn to people who need assistance. Perhaps it’s my superpower. I will forever be helping those in need, but never receive the help I need myself. Sadly, despite my situation, I would still take anyone under my wing and help them in any way I can.
To those that have manipulated me or have taken advantage, I hope you’re proud of yourselves. I hope you really see how much I did for you when I had practically nothing. I hope you understand how you treated me, and I hope you understand it was fucked up. Again, fool me once, shame on you. I’m sorry, but you’ll never fool me twice.
