While growing up, girls tend to picture what their husband will be like. He would be tall, dark and handsome, or muscular and blond.
They'd closely resemble the Disney Princes we grew up watching. For me, this image would change depending on my age, but who I wanted my future husband to be never did. I was always attracted to the underdog, the sweet, caring, intellectual guy. The guys that are typically friend zoned. The humble, nerdy, talkative, outgoing and happy guy. This was my type. I generally was attracted to skinnier guys who weren't afraid to show their emotions. In high school, I never went for the "popular" boys, always gravitating toward the quieter cute boys. That is, until I met Brandon. He was everything I wasn't attracted to: popular, loud, arrogant, alpha male, stubborn and always wanted to be the cool guy. The guy with all the ladies. The player. That mentality always turned me off, but for some reason, I stuck around. I started falling for the boy underneath that exterior. The boy who, underneath the cool, tough guy, was sweet, caring, loving, strong, a hard worker and an extremely loyal person. He was everything I wasn't looking for, opposite from me in every way and..it worked. And it has been working for the past six years.
However, not without bumps and bruises. My life with my husband is not perfect. Far from it. We are not one of those couples that never argue and we never will be. We have different perspectives, different opinions, different styles and different approaches to life. We don't even agree on what movies to watch. This relationship is not easy. Sometimes after a serious argument or a dumb fight over how to properly pack our bags for our trip to London, I sit and wonder why this is so hard. Why can't we always get along? However, that is seriously unrealistic.
But isn't that life? Isn't life difficult, messy, stressful and exhausting? That will never change, so why are some people so focused on finding Mr. or Mrs. Right who they will get along with and be happy with 24/7? Often it seems there is a long checklist of items that must be met in order to be happy with someone. The idea that if my Mr. or Mrs. Someday looked or acted a certain way, then I'll be happy with that person for the rest of my life. Heaven forbid if the guy I'm dating isn't as outgoing as I wished or is too stubborn or breathes loudly when he sleeps. I used to think that because Brandon and I fought or didn't get along all the time, we were doing something wrong. I used to think that because we are so different, we wouldn't work. I'll be honest, those thoughts still creep into my mind sometimes, but that simply isn't true. My marriage is a choice. I chose to be with Brandon because I fell in love with him. Love is a choice and it's a hard choice. Sometimes it'd be so easy to just give up and move on. But then, how else would I have a meaningful relationship that lasts years if I gave up on it? If I let it go because it got too hard, I'd constantly be searching. Every relationship goes through peaks and valleys. If we gave up every time our relationship was going through the valley, we wouldn't find happiness with anyone. We'd simply give up before we could see that the relationship is not doomed to fail and it does get better, but only if we try.
I am so thankful I married my opposite. It has taught me more about the kind of person I want to be, the kind of relationship I want, how to work hard for those I love and what love really means. And you know what? I realized that while we are opposite, he still has amazing qualities I didn't realize I wanted or needed until I met him. Yeah we're different, but I've learned so much from him. How to see things his way and vice versa, how to become stronger, more confident, physically healthy, have better self-discipline, but mostly I've learned how to truly love someone. When I look at my husband, I see the man I chose to spend my whole life with, and I see all his strengths and faults and I love him anyway. Truly loving someone is looking at them from the inside out, seeing all their dirty laundry, knowing the blackest parts of them, and still choosing to be with them, still choosing to love them. I make a choice every day to be a good wife and companion to my husband.
He makes me happy and our future is bright.
