We let go of many things. We lose family members and friends, we lose connections in relationships and, sometimes, we even lose hope.
The grief we feel after losing someone dear to us is indescribable. When we part ways from someone we love, we lose a part of ourselves.
The pain of losing someone never goes away. It will always be there, but as time progresses, we learn to live on with the person close to our heart — even if they're no longer close to us physically.
We all have different experiences, and sometimes, we end up in situations that haunt us for the rest of our lives.
Some of us have images engraved into our minds that we cannot talk about. Others have held loved ones as they let out their final breaths. Some have sat next to a bed, holding a loved one's hand while they slowly slipped away. Others have been through war. Some of us have lost friends or family members to suicide, drug abuse or alcohol.
Whether you have lost a friend, a daughter, a son, a parent, a dog or a grandparent, you know that we all experience hurt — some of us more than others.
I know that many of us live on with feelings of guilt, rage and regret. We regret not spending enough time with the person, we regret the words we spoke and we regret not being there for the person when they needed us most.
We end up blaming ourselves for what happened, we stay mad at the world and we end up hating ourselves while living with these feelings of emptiness. We basically never feel OK.
We end up in broken relationships because we fear loneliness. We want to be connected to people because we think that they can heal the pain.
Then we live on with these scars. We never talk about what happened; we hardly mention it. We never open up to anyone because we're too afraid of judgment. And in relationships, this can destroy someone.
Walking around with all this pain, never trusting anyone to talk about it, can destroy you and every new relationship you find yourself in.
Years pass. You feel OK around people. You party, just so you won't need to remember. But when you're alone, it hurts again.
You tell no one about the tears you cry in secret, you never seek comfort from anyone and you stay extremely sad inside.
Even when years pass, you still feel alone inside. You begin relationships just to end them again.
If this sounds like you, I want to tell you that letting go hurts so much because we feel like we'll forget the ones we love. But let me also tell you that it hurts so much more to hold on.
You need to let go of the guilt and regret. You need to let go of the things that aren't serving you. You need to let go because what happened isn't your fault.
If someone committed suicide, it doesn't mean you weren't good enough for them. It doesn't mean that you're a bad person. Sometimes, life becomes too much, and people can't always deal with it. Believe me, a suicidal person loves and feels so much, but they feel this is the only way. Please don't blame yourself.
If you lose someone to cancer, please don't be mad at the doctors, God or yourself. Life is a rollercoaster ride, and we need to accept that life doesn't always go our way. We can only love and appreciate the people we have.
If the love of your life walks away, then they were never "the one" to begin with. Losing someone you couldn't see yourself without can be eye-opening because it makes you realize what you deserve. You learn from these experiences.
I have been best friends with really broken people, and it is not easy.
It's not easy being friends with someone who is such a great person but hurting inside. It's not easy sitting with them at three in the morning because you fear what they might do if you're not there.
It's not easy being told that you need to stay away from that person. It's not easy dealing with the fact that every time they call, your heart drops.
But, in the end, we need to be there for them. We need to be true friends, and we need to stop ignoring the brokenness.
We need to stop teaching our children to stay away from these people. We need to stop with the stereotypes. We're all human, and we all have emotions and feelings. Some people have had it so much worse than you can ever imagine.
We tell people who they should be friends with and who they should avoid, but when someone leaves us, we're often left with regret.
We need to help people, love people and be there for them — no matter what. We should love them more than we love ourselves. We need to learn to feel compassion for other people again.
And sometimes, we also need to let go. When we let go, we create space for something better.
Never let go of the memories you shared. Never let go of keepsakes. But let go of your regret, your sadness and your rage. Keep the person near, but learn to move on.
We need take time to heal on our own. We need to feel again, and we need to actually be OK again before entering relationships.
We need to let go in order to move on because holding on can kill us.
Stop living with these regrets and start being the better person. Spend time with the people you love. Make people feel special. Be there for people, be kind to strangers and, whatever you do, just be a good person.
When you leave someone, make sure you won't leave with regrets.
And let go of the attachments, but keep the lessons.
