How could something so sweet be so sour?

The one to break her heart mends it.

The words he spoke glued her pieces back together

But all the same,

his words tore them up again

She told herself to keep her distance,

that he was only passing through,

But as the days went on,

she got tangled in his shadow

She watched his interaction with other girls,

comparing them to herself,

finding the comparison not to be in looks,

but in the heart of the one who “loved” them.

“Why do you do this to yourself?” She’d ask.

Every time he would call she came, like a dog to its owner

She would wait for him by the phone,

only to answer to the few words he spoke

The way he made her feel when he gave all his attention

Is more than she ever wanted.

He was like the rays on the sun,

shining down on the coldness of her world.

And the freshness of air in the her early mornings

She tries to not get too attached to him,

afraid he will run in fear of the commitment

But she wants so badly to tell him of

her admiration for

his very presence

She wants him to know how he shattered her, yet,

she wants him to know how her eyes light up with the very mention of his name,

her body tingles when he compliments her smile or laugh

and her mind wanders too often to scenarios of them.

It is rather sad to admit that

I Am She

I am hopelessly drowning in this sea of complicated feelings

Puzzled by my own desire,

Curious to the amount of naivety,

Scared of the possible misconception.

Parts of me are experiencing anger,

gratefulness,

betrayal,

endearment,

But most of all, worry

that in trusting you could hurt me more than ever.

All over again.