As I only spent a little over a month abroad, I know I don’t have anything near to a full grasp on Italian or European culture. My time there flew so quickly, and there’s so much more to learn. My American-accent heavy “ciaos” and “arriverdercis” exhibited my clear lack of expertise, as well as my sub-par fashion sense.
While I admittedly don’t know much, there was one thing that became apparent to me fairly quickly: most Americans live to work, rather than work to live.
That’s not so much of a surprise, right? Most are familiar with the Italian stereotype of food and good company, of choosing to spend time with family over going to the office or worrying about frivolities.
I realized, though, that I often define myself in the future tense rather than in the present one. While making conversation, I talk about what I plan on doing, what I’m studying, where I’ll be in a few years. What I often find interesting about myself are my aspirations, not what I’m doing now.
When making conversation, I failed miserably at times. As a lot of Italians aren’t aware of the influences of Tina Fey (surprising, right?) or seem to care that I’ll be applying to law school next year, my conversation arsenal would become slightly depleted.
The people I spoke with didn’t attribute too much importance to how they earned money. They would be quick to talk about their hobbies, their favorite places or their fondest memories. Jobs were a way for them to make a living and experience more -- not something they felt the need to commit themselves to.
As my knuckles would be white from gripping the table when waiters didn’t bring the check immediately, I realized how uptight I can be. Restaurants would encourage people to eat and enjoy company, while I sat there eager and anxious to leave.
We, a lot of the time, find ourselves thinking ahead -- planning our lives accordingly to try and achieve an imagined ideal. Even when I am stagnant, I seem to be in a hurry.
I realize I need to start getting to know people outside of their majors and the boxes of their post-graduate plans. I constantly feel behind and unrefined, but in what race? In the larger scheme of things, I’m not sure my career achievements matter as much as I used to believe. If we miss the smaller, prettier parts of life, we could miss out on a more well-rounded fulfillment.
