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How You Should Really Answer Those Awkward Questions at Holiday Gatherings

DISCLAIMER: These answers may give your grandmother a heart attack.

Anna Blissick

Dec 21, 2016

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How You Should Really Answer Those Awkward Questions at Holiday Gatherings

vaviper.blogspot.com

You're probably looking forward to spending the holidays with your family, but I bet you haven't prepared yourself to answer those awkward questions. The questions that you hate so much you want to wear a shirt to every family gathering that says "DON'T ASK ME ANYTHING." The questions that you've politely and awkwardly answered at every holiday for as long as you can remember. Well, this year it's time to switch it up. Try these answers, and I bet your family will never bombard you with questions EVER again.

Q: "Do you have a job? How do you make money?"

A: "You bet! Have you ever heard of the term 'Sugar Daddy?'"

Q: "How's school going? Are you getting good grades?"

A: "Oh for sure. Are you familiar with the new grading scale in college? A 2.0 is actually an A+, so you could say I'm a genius."

Q: "So do you know what you want to do after you graduate?"

A: "Probably get a job, hate it, quit, hit a low, then begin stripping to make ends meet. I've always really loved to dance!"

Q: "Do you have a boyfriend?"

A: "Yeah we just celebrated his 51st birthday! I wasn't sure about him at first, but his daughter and I just get along so well. I think it's meant to be! Age is but a number, baby."

Q: "Do you eat well at school? Are you remembering to eat your veggies?"

A: "Oh of course! I get my full serving of veggies in my daily Bloody Mary. I'm on a total health kick."

Q: "How is insert name of ex/ friend you haven't talked to since high school/ old roommate? What've they been up to?"

A: "Burning in hell, probably."

Good luck! May your days be merry and hopefully less awkward...

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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How You Should Really Answer Those Awkward Questions at Holiday Gatherings

DISCLAIMER: These answers may give your grandmother a heart attack.

Q: "Do you have a job? How do you make money?"

A: "You bet! Have you ever heard of the term 'Sugar Daddy?'"

Q: "How's school going? Are you getting good grades?"

A: "Oh for sure. Are you familiar with the new grading scale in college? A 2.0 is actually an A+, so you could say I'm a genius."

Q: "So do you know what you want to do after you graduate?"

A: "Probably get a job, hate it, quit, hit a low, then begin stripping to make ends meet. I've always really loved to dance!"

Q: "Do you have a boyfriend?"

A: "Yeah we just celebrated his 51st birthday! I wasn't sure about him at first, but his daughter and I just get along so well. I think it's meant to be! Age is but a number, baby."

Q: "Do you eat well at school? Are you remembering to eat your veggies?"

A: "Oh of course! I get my full serving of veggies in my daily Bloody Mary. I'm on a total health kick."

Q: "How is *insert name of ex/ friend you haven't talked to since high school/ old roommate*? What've they been up to?"

A: "Burning in hell, probably."

Good luck! May your days be merry and hopefully less awkward...

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There are plenty of obstacles that come when taking care of kids, but it's a very rewarding experience.

1. You get excited when the parents purchase season passes to the pool.

2. You've become friends with the stay-at-home moms in town.

3. You get a chance to eat "kid foods" again.

4. You've traded in your cute purse for a large tote bag.

5. You have at least one car seat in your backseat.

6. Their nap time is your happy time.

7. Lunch time can be a disaster.

8. You have to play the same board games repeatedly.

9. You catch yourself using the same lines your parents once told you.

10. Your "mom-mode" kicks in at times.

11. Your heart melts a little when they do something cute.

You'll never find any souvenirs with your name on it

1. You know you are up next when the teacher pauses while taking attendance

2. When “I’m going to do my very best to make sure I know all your names” is said, it may or may be an empty promise

3. “Wow! That sounds so cool! Where is your family from?”

4. You dread when people ask you to repeat your name over and over because it “sounds so cool when you say it”

5. There’s a 50/50 chance that your name will come back either correct or incorrect at Starbucks

6. People try to find shorter, easier nicknames for you instead of calling you by your actual name

7. When someone famous or fictional character shares your name, you get so happy

8. “What’s your name?” “It’s [name]” “I’m sorry, what was it again?”

9. You’ve pretty much seen every misspelling and heard every mispronunciation of your name throughout your life

10. When you find another person with an “ethnic” sounding name, you both get excited

11. Despite the struggles, your name is pretty unique… just like you

Can I be excused for the rest of my life?

Don't Be That Person

1. “Oh, so you/your family are immigrants!”

2. “Is Puerto Rico near Mexico?”

3. “Do you speak Puerto Rican?”

4. “You look too light/dark to be Puerto Rican.”

5. “Do I need my passport to go to Puerto Rico?”

6. “Geez, you are obsessed with your flag. We get it, you’re Puerto Rican.”

7. “Why are you so loud?”

8. “So does your family know English?”

9. “Oh my god, Puerto Ricans are so spicy.”

10. “So did you eat a lot of tacos?”

11. “Are you Mexican?”

Love hard, every day, and never be ashamed.

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