You're probably looking forward to spending the holidays with your family, but I bet you haven't prepared yourself to answer those awkward questions. The questions that you hate so much you want to wear a shirt to every family gathering that says "DON'T ASK ME ANYTHING." The questions that you've politely and awkwardly answered at every holiday for as long as you can remember. Well, this year it's time to switch it up. Try these answers, and I bet your family will never bombard you with questions EVER again.

Q: "Do you have a job? How do you make money?"

A: "You bet! Have you ever heard of the term 'Sugar Daddy?'"

Q: "How's school going? Are you getting good grades?"

A: "Oh for sure. Are you familiar with the new grading scale in college? A 2.0 is actually an A+, so you could say I'm a genius."

Q: "So do you know what you want to do after you graduate?"

A: "Probably get a job, hate it, quit, hit a low, then begin stripping to make ends meet. I've always really loved to dance!"

Q: "Do you have a boyfriend?"

A: "Yeah we just celebrated his 51st birthday! I wasn't sure about him at first, but his daughter and I just get along so well. I think it's meant to be! Age is but a number, baby."

Q: "Do you eat well at school? Are you remembering to eat your veggies?"

A: "Oh of course! I get my full serving of veggies in my daily Bloody Mary. I'm on a total health kick."

Q: "How is *insert name of ex/ friend you haven't talked to since high school/ old roommate*? What've they been up to?"

A: "Burning in hell, probably."

Good luck! May your days be merry and hopefully less awkward...