Is that another wrinkle? Did I really gain another five pounds? Are those stretch marks or did a bear just claw me? Wow, someone call the pizza place, my face is ready for delivery.

The one thing harder than self-image standards is the idea of your own self-image standards. Where as one girl might think she needs a bigger chest to make her life perfect, another may think a flat stomach will cure all her troubles in the world. When one boy looks in the mirror he may idolize the muscles in his arms but hate the size of...most other things. Men and women alike all have something they dislike about themselves, but with the proper reassurance, it is possible to not have such a hatred toward the reflection that is seen.

The first step to looking in the mirror is to NOT think of the worst thing that comes to mind. Rather it is the aging, the stretch marks, or scars that you do not have most control over. It may be the size of your figure, your lack of toning in some areas, or just the mental game your mind likes to play. This is the biggest conflict you have and usually, the first thing that happens first glance. This is influenced also by the lighting, the spacing, the mirror in itself. Honestly, it really is not about the way one mirror may enhance your hips when another will appear totally opposite. No, the biggest problem is in your own mind. This is the leading reasoning (in most opinions) that can lead to problems such as anorexia. When you look in the mirror you see what the mind wants you to see.

Now this does not mean they will find a third eyeball or a third arm, but instead imaginary weight gain or a flaw that no one else could see. The sickness that holds that worries will show in the image staring back. When this happens the best advice that can be given is this; look and find three things that are great. It could be inner or ouster beauty but guaranteed something is there always. Stop that negative mindset and think of the things that matter the most.

“My hips looks huge in this..but have you seen the way that top makes those eyes entrancing.”

“No one will love the way this scar covers my back…but the one will and also the way my arms can wrap around someone and fill them with love and protection.”

“I gained five pounds I bet…it will be OK. Weight is flexible and I never notice when my best friend gains weight. No matter what we still love each other, and I would not let them be this upset over this was them.”

How should someone look in the mirror? With confidence.

An understanding that while not everyone will look like a model (and they do not either) this is not a widely loved standard. How should someone look? Like themselves, because no one will have that same appearance. No one else will have that hair, those teeth, that smile, that heart, nor that mind that can change the way they think and love themselves. Look in the mirror with a smile and know that even without a change, even with a change, they will be loved starting with yourself and the support around you. They are the only ones to feel the beauty on the inside, so why hide it? Show the love. Look the mirror with a sassy smirk, or a dazzling charm, and own it.