I suppose you will never know how to pitch a sale to a woman until you first speak to her. It has to be frustrating in the mind of a man who is simply trying to make a connection and still meet the expectations of a woman he has never spoken to. Furthermore, he would have to verbally react to something visually. That itself can be a little daunting. Needless to say, there are several disclaimers out there for men who are still in the business of approaching women.

So, this article is not written for the purpose of bashing men, nor is it written for the men who aren’t interested in anything more than dating. This was written for men who look at a woman and have some genuine hope of getting to know her, and of being with her, and only her. Without those intentions, this article simply will not work. Consider this article null and void to those without the initial genuine intentions it takes to become involved with a woman on a mutual level.

This article was specifically written in the context of heterosexual interests, for the traditional purpose of men approaching women. It was also written, however, with the understanding that the mentality of men and women has changed from the original mindset of those who created these ideals. This is the only perspective that I will speak about.

Another disclaimer: I don’t know what it is about me that invites a particular type of man to approach me. I can’t honestly say that something is wrong or right about my attempt to walk to the grocery store uninterrupted, but if I am to blame for these approaches, I fully accept the responsibility for my self-growth and will resume working immediately after writing this article. In fact, my self-growth begins by releasing this perception into the atmosphere.

To begin, women can sense intentions from miles away. We know who is looking at us when we walk into a room, we know who we are and who we are not attracted to upon making it to the other side of the room. Our hair, clothing, and demeanor are strategic to the atmosphere we have agreed to step into. However, I have found that a man with obvious signals of unemployment and aggressive hygiene situations will still make an attempt -- and is sometimes disrespectful at that. Now I know the first rebuttal to this portion of the article.

Go ahead and say it, “Gold digger!” And I never understood this approach until I came into the understanding that the men reading this still, were actually looking for some sort of understanding, and those who weren’t would not have read this far. So allow me to explain. Men are not obligated to be employed; I personally would love it if he were his own employer within any industry. But the example I just gave can cross into many different arenas. Let's say for example he is wearing brand new clothing, but his pants sag down. Nothing wrong with that you say? People do it all of the time? Not my preference but, hey, it keeps happening so we’ll use it. Now let’s say the woman he approaches is business casual, obviously on her lunch break. Does that seem logical? Shouldn't every approach be on a level where the initiator believes he or she has something of equal or greater value to offer the situation other than his penis size? It isn’t deceptive to watch a particular person you could like with a careful eye and then strategically make your approach.

If I am a woman who takes pride in how I present myself, should not a man give me the respect of assuming I would be involved with someone who does the same? I have found that on a primitive level, many men are prone to the assumption that a woman is a woman for the purpose of belonging to a man subconsciously, and they, therefore have no need to offer anything themselves. Contrary to this belief, and that of the media, modern society contains women who are going to the grocery store to make an actual purchase and get back home uninterrupted.

Women say that they want a man to be able to support her, but truthfully we want the financial freedom and ability to support ourselves while knowing that you care and are responsible enough to do those things if we need them. We already know what we would be willing to do if that happened to you. No women wants to forfeit her independence, but if we can trust you to lift us up financially when needed, then we never have to.

The overall disclaimer for this article is as follows.

I do like a genuine conversation. In a world of cell phones, and mini computers, ask me what time it is. The worst thing I can say is no. And even though this article is based mostly on the traditional idea of men asking, … I’ve been told “no” too. So there are in essence no rules. I just wanted to shed some light on the innate and very understandable ideas that drive men and women to call someone a gold digger. I suppose this piece can be taken as a rant, but I’m hoping it is seen as a way for our culture to take a step back from the modern idea that love is for losers, and fall into the possibility of love being…true. After all, if your heart has been broken before, why fear it?
this might be the beginning of a series