I begin to see the person I used to be. Blinded by others, how my perspective has changed from who I was. What a realization, an epiphany. How long have I been asleep? Unaware of the person I've become. I can feel the knots tightening in my stomach. Here I sit, writing about the person I've seen in photos. How can one look at an image and see yourself as another? That’s when it becomes clear. That sense, that nostalgia when you absorb those emotions, disposed by those images, brings back the person you were. You are traveling through time. Who am I anymore? Have I become the person I told myself I would never become? In a sense, I have become a shadow, introverted and dependent. Or maybe my present self has become aware and agitated at the person I've become, for forming these ways. The knots rumble beneath my overbearing thoughts. There is nothing to do but to think. Who am I now knowing, having grown a multitude of insights? What to do with this new given knowledge?
I guess to share to the world that change is inevitable; we change for other beings, we change to fit perfectly into this structured society. I lost myself in the chaos and it's okay. How can you not lose yourself in this complicated world? I, who thought so highly of my life, turned into a vulnerable, anxious being, afraid of living without a guide. It happens to the best of us. We tend to forget and we don’t forgive. We are consumed with it all, and then we are lost. We are lost, adapted to a world of chaos, of pure hyperrealism, settled in a simulation of reality that has now become the truth to us. Here I am letting myself go again, roaming looking for a creation, a world of my own perhaps. Change is inevitable, so take it as you can and create yourself a new beginning.
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