Call me a snob, but I am very particular about the way people refer to me. I do not appreciate name shortening, nicknames or familiarity, particularly from strangers. I also know that I am not the worst, and I know people who cannot even stand when some coaches address their audience as " Beautiful ones" or "beloved ones".
I am risking to rub some people I love the wrong way with this article, but I think they will appreciate that I am merely making a point that is not aimed at anyone in particular — just an experience I had today.
Although it comes from the heart, and I have no doubt it does, it can actually completely put someone off. Someone who otherwise would be very happy to work with you.
Imagine if you are talking to a coach. You have a perfect vibe, you love everything about this person, they seem to be a perfect fit for you, yet they insist on calling you "darling", or "hun", or "lovely" or any other pet name, that gives you that remarkably unpleasant experience for a split second...
Yes, one may argue that perhaps if it is a big issue for you, then maybe this is not such a perfect fit after all?
But let's flip the table here. Imagine, you are talking to this potential ideal client that ticks all boxes. You have a fantastic vibe together, and you know, deep down, you can transform their life... And suddenly they say, "No, I do not think it will work out".
How would it make you feel?
And how would it make you feel, if you found out that the only reason they withdrew from working with you was that they get so put off by the way you address them, they see it as a sign of disrespect, a sign of negligence? They feel that they cannot trust you 100% because you cannot even address them by the name they introduced themselves to you.
Frankly, it will be enough reason not to invest my time and money with you for me. I just clicked on an ad for something I would deem an exciting topic for me, and when I saw "Hi Lovely" on the top of the sales page, it was enough to stop reading further. That one word was enough to stop seeing this coach as an authority for me. It was an instant turn off. And of course - not a conversion!
Now if that word weren't right there, staring at me from the top of the page, I would probably and very likely take up the offer.
I already knew this topic was of interest to me and I would have read through the sales page and I would very likely have taken my credit card out to get this. It was not a huge offer. It was a tripwire - sort of passive income at the same time as a teaser of what can happen on a deeper level. But let me ask you this - how many of those small sales did this coach lose - just like mine- only because of the way that sales page started? We might be talking thousands of dollars- not kidding. And there was an ad, that I mentioned, so there is money spent to drive traffic to this page. To me, this is just a waste of money.
See, what should be words of affection, become words that can hurt your client attraction. Can you afford it, especially if cash flow is an issue at this early stage in your business?
All that talk about the ideal client and how you want to attract only those who are 100% compatible with you - maybe it works in the perfect world. But only when you actually ARE in a position to say, "One more, one less - doesn't matter. Plenty of fish in the sea." In my experience, there will always be something we don't entirely like; it is in human nature to notice faults.
If you are used to calling strangers pet names, it is entirely up to you if you want to continue doing that talking to your prospects. If you think people who are not ok with being addressed with such familiarity are not your "perfect people", then carry on. Maybe you are right, and I am just not a perfect person for you. And thank you for reading to this point and hearing me out.
But if you suspect you may be putting off people who would otherwise adore working with you, I believe deciding to avoid those words would significantly help your business.
