College is a tricky time in most of our lives. While it can definitely be the best, it is where we learn to grow by being irresponsible and making some of the worst mistakes we will ever make. It's where our hearts get broken and we don't have our moms to comfort us. It's where we literally have no money to spare. It's where we learn that the world won't wait for us. It's where we learn our passions and desires but also our worst nightmares. But going in, we aren't told most of these things.
I remember telling all of my older cousins, "Hey guys! I'm got into to L&C and I think it's where I am going to go!". Besides hearing the, "Wow, I can't believe you're going to college" about a hundred times, I also heard a lot of the following:
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"It's the best time of your life!"
"I would do anything to go back to college, honestly"
"You're going to meet the people you will stay in contact with forever!"
"You are going to have so much fun; you don't even know it yet..."
Going into college with such high expectations really put a damper on my first year. Granted, I wasn’t at some huge university like the ones they went to, but I wasn’t even feeling “at home”. I don’t need the huge party to have fun; but I couldn’t find friends I could imagine talking to in 30 years. I definitely was not understanding why anyone would want to go back to college once they graduated. And I never really got the “by Thanksgiving, you won’t even really want to go home” feeling. I missed home quite a lot. In short, I wasn’t having fun.
Thinking back on my freshman year now as a sophomore, there are so many things I would do very, very differently. I decided, while going through this year did help me grow as a person, that there was a specific way to, for lack of better words, “win at college”. The list is definitely going to change as I grow older but for now, it will do.
1. Be Irresponsible
If you’re anything like me and just read the bold, it may seem that there is something off with this list. But I assure you, I wrote what I wanted to write and if you want to know what I meant, read the blurbs below.
College is a buffer; It is a time where those of us who are fortunate enough to attend a university/college get the chance to spend another four years under the care of our parents without actually being under their roof. Sure, they may pay for room and board so it is technically their roof, but really… if we lived our life at home by the motto, “If they can’t see, it’s not happening”, why should we change it now? We are truly on our own without so many of the responsibilities. My freshman year, I dismissed this entirely. We should be taking advantage of the fact that we have relatively no supervision and only mild responsibilities. Be irresponsible to some degree. We should be responsible enough to be irresponsible when we see fit. Obviously don’t put you or yourself in danger, but do things you won’t be able to do later in life. Stay up late. Watch a lot of TV. Procrastinate. Buy a hamster…
2. Do Crazy Things
This sort of follows the lines of being irresponsible but what’s interesting about craziness is that it is truly different for each person. In order for someone who by my standards is normally “crazy” to do something crazy would be to step out of their comfort zone already jam packed with craziness. In other words, make yourself uncomfortable. If you know me, I am shy, quiet, studious and basically boring. For me to be crazy or step out of my comfort zone is a small step, but still so, so hard to do. This could be as simple as branching out to make new friends or talking to someone I have never talked to. Craziness makes memories, and boringness and studiousness do not. I don’t want to tell my future kids whose minds I will infuse with the same high expectations my cousins’ did mine, “College was NUTS, I studied like 10 hours a day!”. Being crazy not only gives us these memories but helps us grow, decide for ourselves what is right and wrong and pushes us to be uncomfortable.
3. Don’t Do All of Your Reading
We read a lot in college and most of it is practically useless once we graduate. But, by not doing the reading, I don’t literally mean not doing your assignments. I mean: Break the rules! This, again, continues off of being irresponsible and crazy. (Woohoo, not doing my reading is quite crazy for me). Our time in college is valuable but so short lived and there are so many rules and regulations that deserved to be broken just for the sake of it. Do what you want and get yourself into mild trouble. Take this rule as you may but stay safe and irresponsible.
4. Screw Making Your Bed
This is my favorite. I thought that I couldn’t sleep in an unmade bed, but I was wrong. College is a time where we don’t get enough sleep; due to this, we can sleep pretty much anywhere. This is in part due to the amount of work we get and how irresponsible we are being. Again, however, the bed is just a metaphor. I mean it in the general sense of breaking away from the rules we had at home and making new rules for ourselves. At home, I was always told to make my bed. Being told to do itmade it all the more tedious and annoying. Be rebellious; Don’t make the stupid bed if you don’t want to. Let your dishes sit for a while and wash them at the end of the week. After all why not? Now I’m not saying “Go ahead! Be disgusting”, but be a little rebellious. Make rules for yourself and set goals. Being rebellious allows us to break free from what we’ve always been told and really find what matters to us.
5. Try and Remember the Cost of Your Tuition
After all, we are in college and each class we skip is a certain amount of our tuition we are not putting to use. L&C is a ridiculously expensive, private university that I am so blessed to go to. Each day and each class is costing my parents, and my future self, a certain amount of money. Not attending classes is not irresponsible. It is stupid. I do, however want to emphasize that grades are NOT the most important part of college but they are definitely a part. I dwelled on my grades all of last year and it really took a toll on my happiness. I needed to get A’s. This year, while I still strive to do well, I have realized that grades are at the bottom of my list of important things to keep in mind. They are IMPORTANT but just not the most important.
These are a few of the things I learned after my freshman year. While the bolded portions are mostly metaphorical, I do mean what I wrote below. These few guidelines helped me; I hope that they find you well, inspire you to get out of your comfort zone and encourage you to take advantage of your four--oh, so short--years at college.
