Ladies, it's time for some tough love from yours truly. I know that it is beautiful out, and that the need to wear dresses is greater than the discomfort of thigh sweat you're most likely to endure. But I'm having some issues with some of you who are frolicking on campus in so called "dresses" that should actually be called shirts. So, to save yourself the humiliation, like some girls I've seen on campus, here are some basic guidelines for wearing a dress and having to carry a backpack on campus.
If a stripper wouldn't wear it, then you shouldn't:
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I get it, dresses come in all kinds of shapes and lengths, but honestly if you are having to pull the dress down every few steps, then it's too short! You should not have to be walking to class paranoid because your backpack causes your dress to ride up or gets the dress caught and then is showing off your booty.
Feel The Breeze:
We all know what it's like to be naked. Let's just get that out in the open now and establish that everyone has been naked. Therefore, everyone knows what breeze I'm talking about when I say feel the breeze. It's the same with the buttcrack breeze but more apparent because your are wearing a dress that leaves you semi-naked but under your clothes. We should know if we are feeling a full-on gust of wind down there because our tush is out, and it's a sensation one should know.
The Layer Under:
Okay, so I know that not everyone is about the Spanx life, but honestly there can be benefits to wearing them under the dress. If, by some force of Mother Nature, you pull a Marilyn Monroe, then the Spanx that you are wearing will hide your goods! Another example is if your backpack gets your dress caught, then the Spanx will shield the people you walk past from seeing the crack. So, Spanx may be a pain in the, well, tush but they provide a good service for the adventurous women who wear dresses to class. So ladies, run to the nearest Target and get yourself a nice pair, and it will change your life, I swear.
Treat Yourself, Go Buy the 7 for $27 Deal:
I feel like every girl I have talked to has admitted to going commando at least one time, even while wearing dresses. Girls, can we at least agree that if you are walking to class, you will wear something under your dress. If you feel the Spanx life is not for you, then go to Victoria Secret when they are having their underwear sale and get yourself some seamless cheeky underwear. That way, there are no panty lines, and if you accidentally flash everyone on campus, then you have the coverage needed.
Females Stick Together:
Put yourself in other girls' shoes. If something was wrong, like your dress was caught on your backpack, wouldn't you want someone to tell you? Girls need to start watching out for each other because we expect others to do the same. Rather than chuckle behind a poor girl's back, we girls need to go and tell her that there is something wrong with her outfit. Go up to the girl and say "Hey, I am trying to save you from walking all over campus with your dress being caught." It really isn't hard to be nice to others.
I want every girl to know that it is okay to wear dresses to class. Don't be afraid to embrace the warm weather and want to show off your legs. I am just giving you some tips on how to avoid showing off your underside.
