To the awkward girls that can't talk to boys, this one's for you.
Welcome to the year 2015, where boys and girls pair together via Tinder, Instagram, and Coffee Meets Bagel (it's an app, look it up). It's really easy to lose that face-to-face interaction with the opposite sex because of advancements made in technology. I mean I'm not complaining, face-to-face interactions involve sweating, crying, and little-to-no eye contact.
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Hi, I'm Rose, and if you don't know me, I'll let you in on a little secret.
I'm really, really, really bad at talking to boys.
For those that do know me, they'll be the first to tell you that this is not a secret, and that all eyes are on me if I ever approach a boy (I'd like to also make it known that me approaching a boy is a rare occurrence).
Let me paint a picture for you. You see a boy from across the room, he looks like a nice human being, and who knows maybe he'll buy you an appetizer. I say appetizer, because let's be real ladies, if we had the choice we'd choose food over drinks any day. Am I right, or am I right?
So you approach the good-looking boy whom you've been attempting to make eyes at for the last 48 minutes, when in reality you probably look like a drooling gremlin. You strike up conversation, and somehow it behooves you to start talking about dead rats. Dead rats, that's right, you decide to talk about the one thing guaranteed to kill a conversation in under 10 seconds. Luckily, this boy is nice (good eye on that one), and he continues to humor your oddly selected conversation topic. You decide it's a good idea to keep talking, and decide it's best to bring up how you get sweaty when talking to people. Like clockwork, you spill your drink all over the kind gentleman, and in an attempt to go search for your lost dignity you run away. No "goodbye," no "thanks and have a good night," and no "so how about that free appetizer." With that you head back to your group of friends who were taking bets on just how long your conversation would last. They laugh with you, not at you, at least you hope that's what's going on, and they tell you it's probably best to head home to catch some reruns of "Friends."
Now that I've given you a glimpse into my life, I'm here to tell you how to talk to boys. At this point I can imagine I have not given you much reason to trust me. After all, I chose to talk about dead rats in causal conversation. But I'm telling you to listen because I have something important to say.
Don't change one single thing.
That's right, you heard me. If you're an awkward soul who finds themselves at a loss for words when a member of the male species approaches you, then listen up.
I want you to embrace all of that awkward, and use it to the best of your ability. Who cares what your friends think? I'd like to think that being awkward has become socially acceptable, at least that's what I tell myself on the daily. And who knows, maybe someone out there will find it charming?
You can't hide who you are, and if you feel that being awkward is genuinely a part of who you are, please don't hide that just for the sake of attempting to successfully talk to a boy. Trust me if you hide your awkward the first date, it's bound to find its way out on the second.
Keep talking to boys about awkward topics, embrace how sweaty you get when an attractive boy talks to you, and avoid eye contact at all costs.
If you're wondering where the "how-to" part comes into this, I'm here to tell you it's not. I don't need to tell you how to be yourself. You need to figure that one out. Quite frankly, there's no textbook way to talk to someone you're interested in. So if you really feel like talking about the difference between llamas and alpacas, or the square root of a really large number, then you do that! I guarantee you it will work out in your favor, eventually.
In the words of Kelly Clarkson, "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger." So next time you find yourself in my shoes, do you, and if things don't turn out the way you want, just know there's always going to be a next time.
So, I know this wasn't a how-to guide, and you might even feel a bit led on by the title, but I hope I can leave you with some some parting words to make up for it.
When life hands you awkward, go avoid eye contact with someone.
Okay just kidding.
But I do have one more thing to say.
Stay you and stay awkward, because I promise you it will work out in your favor in the boy department one day.
