Last week I created an article featuring my veiws about issues concerning the zombie condition. This week I decided to further discuss the topic of zombies by addressing the most important debate of them all: What is the best way to survive a zombie apocalypse?
1. Stock up on water and nonperishable food. You never know when your house will be surrounded and you cannot get 8-month-old Twinkies from the grocery store halfway across town.
2. If you are a slow runner, practice running now. This is not just a good choice for your health, but also great preparation for a zombie attack. Zombies are notoriously slow, so the easiest way to survive is to outrun them.
3. Stay near a body of water. Zombies cannot swim.
4. Stay in a cold location. Zombies cannot survive cold weather. Canada is a great place to go in a zombie apocalypse.
5. Learn how to kill a zombie. There is one known successful method to zombie-killing. Hit the zombie as hard as you can with a blunt object in the soft spot where its skull meets the back of its neck.
6. Install a tornado shelter. These can protect you from both a tornado and a zombie apocalypse.
7. Invest in a gun. While the whole blunt object thing is the only verified successful method of zombie-killing, there is still a chance you can kill a zombie with a gun. Might as well be prepared.
8. Learn how to build a fire. This can be helpful in two ways. The first is to keep warm it you are relocated outside at nighttime, and the second is because zombies are flammable. While it is unknown whether zombies can die of smoke inhalation or even feel the heat of their burning flesh, fire is a huge distraction to the simple-minded.
9. Invest in some type of vehicle. Whether it’s a car or a tank, be sure to have means of moving from point A to point B quickly. It can also serve as shelter, and a way to run over or even crush zombies.
Keep the discussion going, comment your ideas and survival strategies. Hopefully continuing the discussion will encourage awareness and preparedness from members of society.
