"YOUR ABUSIVE PARTNER DOESN’T HAVE A PROBLEM WITH HIS ANGER; HE HAS A PROBLEM WITH YOUR ANGER.
One of the basic human rights he takes away from you is the right to be angry with him. No matter how badly he treats you, he believes that your voice shouldn’t rise and your blood shouldn’t boil. The privilege of rage is reserved for him alone. When your anger does jump out of you—as will happen to any abused woman from time to time—he is likely to try to jam it back down your throat as quickly as he can. Then he uses your anger against you to prove what an irrational person you are. Abuse can make you feel straitjacketed. You may develop physical or emotional reactions to swallowing your anger, such as depression, nightmares, emotional numbing, or eating and sleeping problems, which your partner may use as an excuse to belittle you further or make you feel crazy.” -Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That?:Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men

I was in an abusive relationship for a year yet I still feel like I am trapped in this never ending circle of abuse. The abuse that I encountered was not only physical, but mentally and emotionally as well. He would hit me and call me names. Anyways, I did not "survive" the relationship, day by day I am trying to avoid any object, quote, or even image that reminds me of him. My current boyfriend can speak for this, I had a panic attack when he said "Forever and Always" because that is what me and my ex used to say. I see my ex in the hallway and want to run and hide and just cry until I can't cry anymore. Here are some tips to "survive" an abusive relationship.

1. Admit That You Are Part Of An Abusive Relationship

When you know you are in an abusive relationship it takes a while to accept that you are in an abusive relationship. Meddle on the thought for a little bit and then admit it- say it out loud, write it down, text someone you can trust, call someone you can trust, do whatever you need to to admit that you were in this relationship and need to get out.

2. Get Help From Someone You Can Trust

My mom and dad helped me escape my abusive relationship (I skipped step one but they did that for me.) They called the police and showed them texts and emails from my ex proving that he was abusive towards me. My parents saved my life and if it weren't for them I would probably still be stuck in the abusive relationship.

3. Ask The Court/Police For A No Contact Order

This No Contact Order is to keep him/her from talking to you and causing you more pain and more suffering. This order has kept my sanity within me as much as possible because I know as soon as he tries to talk to me he will be taken by the police.

4. Find A Friend Or A Group Of Friends To Help You

I found a group of friends that let me cry on their shoulders and let me annoy them and hang out with them when I was feeling down. Find yourself a good group of people you can trust to talk to. It might take a while for you to be able to tell the whole story but one day you will be able to, and those friends will be there to help you.

5. Find A Hobby You Enjoy To Get Your Mind Off Of Him/Her

I took up photography and swimming as my hobby. Photography helps me escape reality and imagine I am in the utopia I am photographing. Swimming lets me swim off my anger and frustration and put my heart into the pool. Some people take up art, piano, guitar, songwriting, singing, running, or even travelling the world. Just find something that you can escape to. Whatever you can use to help, use it.

6. Live A Happy Life

Now, I know there are a lot of little steps between escaping and being 100% happy again but it can happen. Find yourself a nice boyfriend/girlfriend that is there for you when you need them, find yourself a best friend that will call you at ten in the morning on a Saturday wanting to go to a movie, find yourself a new hobby, find yourself doing things you never thought you could do.

Now I know, I have not quite made it to step six but I have made it to start getting there. I met a boyfriend who helps me when I need him, I have a best friend that goes to breakfast every Wednesday morning with me, I swim five days a week and take pictures all the time. Take some selfies, be happy, laugh a little, love a lot, use cliche quotes, make cheesy jokes, make a craft, run The Color Run, do whatever you want to do. One day you will be free and one day you will be 99% healthy and safe. If you ever need anyone to talk to I am here for you, there are people there to help. Get help and find a hotline to report to here.