A satirical, yet realistic view on how to succeed in pageantry.

Yes, even "Toddlers and Tiaras." It's. All. A. Lie! Remember that the shows you see on TV are exaggerated and scripted to draw in viewers. Pageants are much more than fake hair pieces and painted nails. Trust me, you will never see a 3-year-old wax their legs, however, you may see a 3-year-old tanned to the max! Unlike the TV shows, girls in pageants are poised and mature. They know how to carry and dress in a confident manner, speak to crowds and one-on-one and are extremely talented.

Find the right gown.

If your gown is not Sherri Hill, Jovani, Mac Duggal or custom made, you might as well forget about winning Miss America! Sure you might win your local mom and pop pageant in last year's prom dress, but let's face it, that leopard print-cut-out halter thing you call a dress just isn't going to cut it. However, the dress should not outshine the girl. The formal wear competition is mainly based on poise and confidence. If you don't genuinely want to be on that stage, the judges will see it in your eyes and your smile. There is no point even competing if you aren't in it 100 percent.

Learn how to speak without saying "um," "like," "you know" or "literally."

You will never hear a beauty queen say these words in her daily vocabulary if she has properly been trained. When these words are used, you sound illiterate and quite frankly stupid. The few pageant girls that have made it to the Miss America stage and still talk like that are most likely from states like Idaho and Alaska where the state population is smaller than the population of potatoes or moose! Interview in a pageant is the MOST IMPORTANT part! If the judges cannot ask you about world issues without hearing "like" a billion times, then you might as well kiss your chances of winning the crown goodbye. No one wants a stupid beauty queen.

Don't be the stereotype.

In all my years of pageantry, I have yet to meet a stupid or bitchy title holder. So DONT be the first! Remember that people are looking up to you once that crown is placed on your head. And everyone will look for something to criticize. Don't you dare give them a reason to knock you down! Be kind to every single person you meet (this is a rule for life as well as pageantry) you never know who you might be speaking to. If you sound uneducated to the judges, why would they give you a title and scholarship for college? If they hear you being rude to another contestant, why would they choose you to represent the state and be a role model?

Clean your social media!

I cannot stress enough the importance of a squeaky clean social media presence. Don't post anything that could be offensive, rude, has foul language, is too revealing or anything that could somehow be turned against you in any way shape or form. This includes favoriting and liking things that could be considered offensive. People can and WILL look for any reason to take your title away. That means no party pics, no rude four letter words and absolutely no drinking pictures (no matter what age you are at) and if you have a boyfriend, you have one of two options. A: pretend he doesn’t exist on your social media. Or B: never use the "L" word, call him baby, babe, bae and never EVER post a picture of you two kissing.

Find a community project you are passionate about.

I cannot tell you how many times a girl has "started her own charity" or "created their own non-profit organization" and barely even done any work for them. Those girls do not win. The girls who win are the ones who are truly passionate about what they are volunteering their time and effort into. And with a crown on your head many more doors are opened for you to take your charity work to the next level! Don't just do it for the image. REAL beauty queens do it for the enjoyment of helping others and the help they are able to bring to those in need.

Realize that pageantry is hard work.

No one is going to hand you what you want and you will never achieve it if you don't give it 100 percent of your efforts. If you are just in it for the crown, leave. Because I promise you it will not be worth your time and energy. Being a title holder takes work, commitment and passion. If you are lacking just one of these qualities, your pageantry experience will be less than fulfilling and I can grantee you won't succeed.