As human beings, we are always
looking for the next best thing. A way to become happier and feel more
fulfilled. Whether that is through getting a better paying job, a bigger house,
finally getting that degree — you name it. In life, we should always strive to
grow, and become better versions of ourselves. But then it dawned on me... what
happens when we let these things become the standard for determining our
happiness? More importantly what happens when we don'taccomplish
certain things the way we planned, or life happens and things just don't work out causing us to be more anxious and hard on ourselves when we feel like we aren’t
where we are “suppose” to be in life. You look around and think, "Wow, this
person has it all together, why can't I be like them?"
One of the worst things you can do is compare yourself so much to others that it becomes second nature to doubt yourself. It becomes easy for you to say, "I'm not sure I can do this," or "I don't think I am as good as so and so." We can be our own worst enemy sometimes.
Here are some lessons that life has taught me and have helped improved my thinking.
1. Take things a day at a time:
This is easier said than done. Take a minute to stop what you are doing, take a deep breath, and focus on the moment. Think about all the things that you are fortunate to have. If you can't think of any, LIFE is a gift that we are each given every day. It is a privilege denied to many. You may not be exactly where you want to be, or necessarily likewhere you are, but think about this — every second of the day is a new opportunity to change something.
Push everything out of your mind that you’ve been worrying about, and hold on to the comforting fact that you are EXACTLY where you are supposed to be. Even though friends and family are accomplishing wonderful things for their lives, it doesn't make your life any less valuable than theirs. Learn to be happy for other people's achievements without questioning your own worth. Most importantly, don't allow anyone to make you feel like you are not good enough. Remember that nothing is set in stone. Someone can have it all today, but it can also be gone tomorrow.
2. Don’t be so hard on yourself:
So, what you made a mistake? YOU ARE HUMAN, and although it might not seem like it, everyone makes mistakes, and everyone has something that they’ve done that they either regret or wish they could do differently. There is no use in beating yourself up over it. Think about how you can improve, and maybe do things differently next time. Every moment you are alive, is another chance to start over and try again. Most importantly, you must forgive yourself for those mistakes. Sometimes, the only thing holding us back, is ourselves.
3. Be Patient with yourself:
Ask yourself this very important question: "Am I trying my very best at what I'm doing?" If so, and nothing seems to be changing, keep going. Keep working hard and try new ways to approach the situation. Be confident in knowing that anytime you put 100 percent into anything, success is inevitable.
Now, you also have to be honest with yourself when you ask that question. For a long time, I would become very angry when I saw that things weren’t going my way. I would be frustrated when situations weren’t changing the way I wanted them to, and WHEN I wanted them to. However, I hadn’t realized that this was because I wasn’t trying my hardest. I was not putting my all into improving my situation, and I expected things to change simply because I wanted them to, without putting in much effort. When you ask yourself this question, be honest in your answer. I guarantee that things will begin to make more sense.
4. Trust yourself and your journey:
In life, there will be many, many setbacks and unfortunate occurrences. But I am a firm believer that perspective has everything to do with whether things change. Ignore the people who tell you that you can't accomplish something. Just because you took longer than others to achieve something, does not take away your worth and incredible value. You can do anything you put your heart, mind, and time into.
