We’ve all been there. You’re in your bed, crying or sitting there staring blankly at the ceiling because of something someone said or did or didn’t say or didn’t do. Maybe you got out of a long relationship, maybe it’s losing a friendship, maybe you’re worried about a big change in your life, or maybe you just are in need of a fresh start. Whatever the situation, it is really helpful to know yourself well enough to help you make the best of it. I may only have been around for nineteen years so far, but I hope these things I’ve learned can help you too, or maybe you’ll discover your own way starting over.

Clean Yourself Up, Literally

No one is going to feel any better sitting in a messy space. Clean your room for gods sake, and not just that “Oh, I’ll just through everything into the closet and forget about it clean," like actually clean. Fold your clothes, bring out the broom, put pictures in the picture frames you have hanging around, update your closet, get rid of things you don’t need. Go to the store and buy the most expensive laundry detergent the store has (Lilac scent is my favorite). And if you still want to cry, at least you have a peaceful place to do it.

Try To Do Something You Always Liked Doing More

For me, this was writing, and doodles in my sketchbook and making films. Maybe you could learn a new song or maybe finally get back into that sport you always really liked. No one said you have to be the same person you were yesterday after all, and new things can turn out to be the best things. Just try to do these things because sometimes time and new distractions are what you really need.

Don’t Let Your Past Make You Bitter

Listen, I know you’re going through a lot, and people know that too, and most of the time they really just want to make you happy and make you feel better, so try to refrain from being too harsh on yourself and them. Some people will say being a jerk will make you feel better because it’s “not caring what other people think,” but if we’re being honest, you do care what people think. So please stop listening when Tumblr tells you to smoke a cigarette in a crowded place, like Main Street or Times Square and smile at every person who disapproves, because that’s really not the person you want to be. And who knows, if you’re nice enough you could make a new best friend, and that’s pretty cool if you ask me.

Always Be Open To Adventure

It doesn’t really have to be anything major. Maybe order yourself coffee somewhere you’ve never been and leave a big tip in the tip jar. Maybe go skydiving, or start going on runs more, or take up painting, or go to a new city. Never stop moving. Start the day off with no plans, grab a friend, and do something exciting. Go down to the beach, or climb a mountain, or take the train with no destination, get off at the first place that sounds fun and exciting. Let yourself enjoy the freedom of the world around you, and always document the places you’ve been. Never slow down.

Love Your Body More

This body is the only one you’ve got, so start learning how to treat it. Buy eight packs of fresh raspberries if you want to. Learn what workouts that make you not feel like you’re going to die, do some yoga, whiten your teeth like you’ve been thinking of doing for years. Look in the mirror and say something you like about yourself, even if you don't believe it yet. Learn how to love yourself in every meaning of the world, and always remember you will always look better with a smile.

Open Yourself Up

Don’t close yourself off from the world because you’re sad. Get up and go out into the world, even if you really don’t want to. Got to a party and talk to strangers. Kiss people you want to kiss. Hold hands. Hug. Laugh. Smile. Tell your friends you love them, make new friends, and then tell them you love them too. Don’t put up walls, open doors. The person next to you could be your new best friend if you let them. When it comes to feeling better, friends are great medicine. Apologize to every person you have hurt, and forgive yourself for every mistake.