Are you an American between the ages of 30 and 100? Do you find yourself lying awake at night haunted by the painful memory of a conversation with a millennial? Do they use slang words that you don't understand? Do you feel the need to create an Indie playlist on Spotify and Instagram photos of brunch to fit in?
Have no fear. Here is a millennial language cheat sheet to help you keep up.
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TBH, if you don't understand these terms, then you are not keeping it 100, and you will probably experience FOMO, and your #squadgoalz will start throwing shade because you have no chill, amirite?
1. The Feels.
This is when we are overcome with emotion. It is as if suddenly, everything makes sense, and yet nothing makes sense at all. The feels.
2. Turn up.
No one owns a compass, but everyone has great sense of direction when it comes to the weekend.
3. Can't even.
Millennials can't even finish this sentence. Can't even what you ask? We would tell you but we can't even.
4. The struggle is real.
This is not a false struggle. Let no one make apprehensive judgements regarding the authenticity of this struggle.
5. 'MURICA.
This is only said in a loud, deep voice. We don't know why. We don't question it.
6. Bae.
We love to hate it or we hate to love it. Either way we still say it at least once a day in English, and maybe even in French a few times.
7. Pumpkin Spice Latte.
"PSL" time. The leaves are falling outside, so 20-somethings will drop everything and flail their arms as they sprint to the nearest Starbucks to spend a week's earnings on the seasonal latte and inhale it as quickly as they can to maximize autumnal benefits, but not before they have time to artistically Snapchat a picture of the cup.
8. Ratchet.
Not what you play tennis with. That's a racquet. Ratchet is how we feel when we goes to the dining hall on Saturday morning to eat omelettes and we are wearing sweat pants and false eyelashes from the night before.
9. V.
Very. As in "you are v cute;" "I am v fun"
Disclaimer: this is not to be confused with the 2006 dystopian political thriller "V for Vendetta," featuring Saturn Award for Best Actress winner Natalie Portman.
10. FOMO.
Fear of missing out. Sometimes we just curl up in our beds like human tacos and binge watch "F.R.I.E.N.D.S" reruns, but then we think to ourselves, "Hm, where are my friends? Why doesn't my hair bounce like Rachel's when I walk? Why don't I have a Ross? I thought we were on a break?"
11. On fleek.
If you really appreciate something, then it's probably on fleek. Fleek must be really strong by now because it has so many things on it. #Gainz
12. Perf.
We are thrifty. We will save one tenth of a second because we have abbreviated this word.
13. Sorry not sorry.
Admittedly, we are a little sorry. But mostly ... not sorry. More than anything we want everyone to know that we're proud of what we are doing even though society may shun us. Example: "Sorry not sorry I just ate 1000 calories worth of trail mix."
14. LOL.
Studies show we are probably only laughing 7.5 percent of the times when you say this.
15. Said no one ever.
Question number one: if no one said it ever, then why are we saying it? Question number two: does this mean we now own a patent on the phrase and can include it as a resume-builder for our first job? Asking for a friend.
16. Squad/clique/fam.
Rap artists and Kardashians use these words to describe their friends, so we do too. Ain't nobody messin' with 'em.
17. Lit.
We have this in at least one of our Instagram captions, and if we don't yet, then we are probably waiting for the opportune moment on our birthday when we can take a picture with our cake's candles and say "Bday was lit and so was I!!" Once we post the pic we get nervous, because we don't know if we used "lit" in the right context, but it's already been 39 minutes and there are 15 comments, so there is no turning back.
18. Selfie.
More requirements than a post-graduate H&R Tax Block Representative job application. Good lighting, natural makeup that makes you look mysterious yet approachable, soft smile, perfect slightly outstretched arm at a 30 degree angle, statement jewelry, original yet trendy caption. What would Kylie Jenner do?
19. Google it.
20-somethings believe that Google is a magical device that will solve all of our problems and answer all of our problems and knit us sweaters. We say "Google it" even when we are talking about Yahoo. Or Bing.
Jack: Hey, where can we find pizza?
Sally: Idk, Google it.
Jack: Hey, if I eat an entire large pizza by myself in five minutes will I be okay?
Sally: Idk, Google it.
Jack: Why isn't Google working?
Sally: Idk, Google it.
20. Gluten Free, Soy Free, Non GMO, Free Range, ect.
Society tells us that eating foods with these words will make us healthy. So we try it, and this is what happens:
Breakfast: Kale smoothie.
Lunch: Salmon over a bed of delicate arugula greens with a dash of pepper and a spritz of fresh lemon juice and blossom extract.
Dinner: Two tomatoes with a side of three cauliflower florets.
Snack: 20 Fritos, a cold burrito, half of an everything bagel, Swedish fish, popcorn, M&Ms and a Diet Coke.
And if you ever want a quick reference guide to the millennial language ... look up lyrics to any Drake song.
Started from the top, now you're here.
