They're among us. They might be your neighbor, or your friend. You could be dating one. If you're not careful, they might be spending every day with your child.

Elementary school teachers are hard to pick out from the crowd of everyday, normal people around us. Even though they are basically a different species--8:30 to 3 instead of 9 to 5? Who does that?-- they still manage to blend into the background of humanity. If you're not careful, they will infiltrate your life. But never fear! With these helpful tricks, anyone can find an elementary school teacher hidden among their friends! Disclaimer: my experience with elementary school teachers is mostly limited to Japanese teachers; however, many of these traits are the same across-the-board.

1. They dress comfortably

Elementary school teachers need to be ready for anything. Their days are full of crafts, games, lunch, and kids. Kids are messy. Kids cry and forget to wipe their noses. Kids fall in the mud and need a hug to feel better. Kids don't know about personal boundaries. The only way to be prepared for anything is for their teachers to wear comfortable, easy-to-clean clothing. In Japan, that means tracksuits. On parent-visitation days, that means track pants and a button-down (you think I'm kidding). It's much easier to look put-together if you have a matching tracksuit on. If you see someone walking around in a tracksuit, they're probably an elementary school teacher. Or a personal trainer.

2. They are always smiling, especially at kids

Teachers are always so darn happy. Kids feed off of energy around them, so their teachers need to radiate happiness. Their teachers are just like the characters on the television shows they love to watch twenty times in a row, except they are real, breathing people. If you see someone smile at a kid in passing, they're probably an elementary school teacher. Or they just like kids. Fun fact: look at their eyes. If they are smiling, but their eyes are tired and say "help me," you've found an elementary school teacher! When kids are around, teachers keep up the energy. That is, unless...

3. They are scolding a child

We've all been there. Maybe you said a brand-new word to your friend, not knowing that it was a "bad word." Maybe you pushed Timmy's book off of his desk. Maybe you were caught eating paste (again). Either way, you did something wrong, and your teacher transformed from a kind, nurturing figure into a gorgon. Man, elementary school teachers can be scary. There's a reason teachers establish rules early in the school year: so they don't have to be. Even out in public, it's hard for them to break from those established rules. All elementary school teachers have perfected some way to get a child to stop what they're doing immediately. A popular move is snapping their fingers. If you see someone do that, it's like a neon sign proclaiming "ELEMENTARY SCHOOL TEACHER."

4. There's chalk on their pants and glitter in their hair

Glitter is the herpes of the arts and crafts world. And kids love it. They love to use it on their paintings, toilet-paper-roll crafts, and they really love to eat it. If glitter is used in the classroom in any way, it ends up in everyone's hair. And it never, ever washes out. Chalk, on the other hand, is usually pretty removable--by wiping chalk-covered hands on the nearest article of clothing, that is. Remember those track pants? If they're covered in chalk, that's a sure sign of an elementary school teacher. Paired with glitter, even more so. If you only see glitter and no chalk, be careful. They could also be an actor, sorority girl, or Pinterest-obsessed housewife.

5. The dollar-store staff know them by name

Even though most teachers are given some kind of budget, they blow through it quickly. Art supplies and classroom decorations add up quickly. To prevent the rapid demise of the yearly budget, many teachers forgo OfficeMax and Staples for Dollar Tree, or, in Japan's case, Daiso. If you're in the dollar store and the staff members know someone by name, they're probably a teacher. There's only so many cashiers at each store, and weekly visits allow for a lot of overlap.

6. They are pulling along an IV bag of coffee

Even though the school day is only from 8:30am to 3pm, most teachers work much longer hours. They have to arrive long before the students do in order to prepare for the day and greet any visitors, and they stay hours past the last bell to grade homework, decorate the room, and clean up from the last activity (the clean-up song only does so much, after all). When they go home, they have to take care of their own lives: pay bills, run errands, make dinner. The reason they can fit in so well with the rest of the world is that their life after school is the same as everyone else's. However, they are so drained after working with kids all day, they need to survive on a constant feed of coffee.

7. They are good at keeping the peace

Along the same lines of always smiling and being energetic, elementary school teachers are also really, really good at keeping everyone else happy. If they're not spending time comforting crying children and breaking up mini-fights, they're trying to please the grumpiest people on Earth: parents. Teachers learn early in their careers how to appease all types of parents, and they can bring those skills into their normal lives. If you know someone who can find a compromise without making either party unhappy, you've probably found a teacher. Or a wizard.

8. They're in good shape

Have you ever chased down a small child? Or walked around with kids hanging off of your back, or wrapped around your legs? It's a workout! Now, imagine doing that every. Single. Day. That's how elementary school teachers live. It's no wonder most elementary school teachers are fit, beautiful people. They radiate happiness and they get a six-hour workout as part of their job! With all of the exercise, it's no wonder teachers are living on coffee and magic.

So, let's recap: elementary school teachers are pretty easy to find, if you use these tricks to identify them in the wild. Any person who's fit, comfortable, happy, a little tired, and able to interact well with others is probably a teacher. Teachers spend their lives working with kids and doing everything they can to build confident young people. Much of who you become is affected by teachers. In the end, it's not that surprising that they can blend into society, considering they have played a major role in shaping it!