"As women, we tell ourselves that all we deserve are the crumbs. We only give to ourselves when everyone else has been given to. That’s when we tell ourselves we deserve to receive. Give to yourself today instead. If you wait, then all that’s left over is the crumbs." — Gina DeVee
In the last few months or so, I have come to the realization that I haven't been putting myself first. If I'm being completely honest with myself, I've never put myself first. I've always been the person who helps everyone else except myself. I enjoy putting others before me because I know that they need me more than I need myself, or so I thought. I had never thought to do things just for the sole purpose of doing it for me, but now I will. Now is the time to start fresh and finally put myself first. If this sounds like you, maybe you should try to as well. In this article, you'll find some ways to do this.
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Step One: Create A Happiness List
What makes you happy? What is something that you don't do often with just yourself, or even with your significant other? These are some things that make me happy...
1. Going to Church.
I go to Hillsong, which is located in New York City. Hillsong has many locations throughout the globe. If there isn't one near you, try to find a church that you like, but only if you're into that.
2. Reading a book.
I'm currently finishing up the book, "Goodbye ED, Hello Me" by Jenni Schaefer. It's a book on how to get control of your eating disorder and take charge of your life. The next book I'll be reading is "Furiously Happy" by Jenny Lawson. All I know about the book is that it is hilarious, and will probably make my stomach ache from all the laughing I'll be doing.
3. Going to the gym.
Oddly enough, I love going to work out. I love the feeling of lifting weights, and working on improving myself. It's fun to just blast some music and mind my own business.
4. Trying out a new coffee shop or restaurant.
Lastly, if I'm not doing those three things or shopping (I have an addiction), you'll probably catch me trying out a new place to eat, or a great little coffee shop. If you live in New York City there are some interesting food places around. If not, try to find some in your area!
Step Two: Find Your Motivation
Finding motivation can be difficult, I know. Ask yourself this: What keeps you going in life? Why do you get up every day? Why do you go to work/school every day?
To answer the first question for you, the one thing that keeps me going is my family. Without my family, I would not be in New York City pursuing my dream, but I can't rely just on that. I know that I have to work hard for what I want, so I keep myself going. I am my own motivation. Also, I have friends and family who look up to me and I don't want to disappoint them.
Secondly, I get up every day because I have to. I have a set routine and if I didn't, I would be confused on what to do every second of my life. Anyone who knows me knows that I have three calendars. One for school, work/appointments, and one for family. With these set schedules in mind, I know that I always have somewhere to be or something to do. Try waking up at a certain time every day and having a set routine. You might find that your life is a bit more organized.
Lastly, I go to school and work every day because I'm a hardworking person, but I also go because there's a lot of money going into my education. Think about why you're doing what you are doing. In order for me to make it in the entertainment business, I have to have my own motivation to make it in this world. You should also think of your life like that. Or at least try.
Remind yourself of the little things that put you in the place you are at today.
Step Three: Find New People To Be Around
I recently just went through a cleanse from people in my life. I let go of the toxic people because they were only causing me pain. I was becoming them in a sense, and I was/am not okay with that. Letting go of people was difficult because there is no better way to let them go without saying, "You are toxic." I know that leaving behind people in your life might be hard but if you want to help yourself, you have to strip the bad and bring in the good. Once you've said goodbye to the toxic people, you can now find people who are good influences. If you have great people in your life already maybe try seeing them more often. Doing so will show you that these people only want what's best for you.
Step Four: Take Time For Yourself
This is the last and final step. Taking time for yourself can mean a variety of things such as sitting down to read a good book, going to the spa to get a massage or facial, laying out in the sun, or taking a mini vacation. Whatever helps you decompress or take time for yourself, do it.
I hope that these four steps help you start to put yourself first. Regardless of your age, financial situation, or marital status, you need to take time for yourself. You deserve to be happy, and if you're not good to yourself, then you're not good to anyone else.
