How to respectfully (and properly) greet a military veteran on a military holiday

There are three major holidays during the year that revolve around military members or veterans. A question that I am asked frequently is how to properly greet a military veteran on one of these holidays. Therefore, I am laying it out for you below.

Armed Forces Day:

In the United States, Armed Forces Day is celebrated on the third Saturday in the month of May. It is on this day that those who are CURRENTLY serving in the U.S. Military are honored for their service. Therefore, it is appropriate to thank those who are CURRENTLY serving, either in the Active component of the Armed Forces or the Reserve component. General guidelines for this day are also in-line with Veterans Day, so please read below.

Memorial Day:

Memorial Day is celebrated each year on the last Monday in the month of May. Its purpose is to recognize the military members who died while serving in the U.S. Military. Therefore, it is not appropriate to thank a living veteran or currently serving member of the Armed Forces for his or her service on Memorial Day, as you are not directing your attention to the appropriate person or persons in which the holiday is for. Originally called Decoration Day following the Civil War in 1868, it was later expanded and declared to be Memorial Day, a day which would be to remember and respect those who died serving our country.

Veterans Day:

Veterans Day is celebrated each year on November 11^th, the anniversary of the armistice in World War I. On November 11, 1918 at 11:00 AM, arms were laid down and the hostilities ended. Veterans Day is meant to respect and honor those who are still living and who served in the U.S. Armed Forces in a former capacity. On this day, it is appropriate to thank those who served by simply saying “Thank You.” Trust me, they all know what you are thanking them for, so “Thank You for your service” can be excessive in some situations. In acknowledgement, we may shake your hand, say “You’re Welcome”, or simply nod our head and smile. Verbal niceties are not necessary, but appreciated. Buying a meal or a drink at the bar is also appreciated, but if you are comfortable with doing so, please make yourself known so that we may extend our appreciation for acknowledging us. In military culture, respect is everything and is a two-way street. If we are acknowledged, we wish to acknowledge in return if possible.

NOTE: It would be respectful, if purchasing an item for a veteran, to leave that item’s choice up to the veteran. For example, if that veteran is privately battling PTSD or an alcohol addiction, which you wouldn’t know, it wouldn’t be conducive to their treatment to buy them a drink. It puts that veteran on the spot, and leaves an opening of possible miscommunication and unintended disrespect by refusing the drink, which of course we wouldn’t want to do. Therefore, if the veteran has their choice, they are able to choose whatever is appropriate for their personal situation.