Fear is something that is present in all of our lives. Personally, I am afraid of countless of things which have come to make my life quite boring. This has pushed me to start searching for more information about it in hopes of taking control over my life and do things I wanted to do but couldn’t simply because I was too scared it might go wrong. Learning so much about fear has made it easier for me to understand it and recognize it in all corners of my life. Here are a few things that changed my aspect on fear.
1. It is very real.
In my search, I came across a lot of articles that claim that fear is not real. Even though scientists are still debating whether it is or it’s not, personally I (and I am definitely not a scientist) think it is very real. It manifests so much in our lives for it to not be. It may be a mental state but it is, nevertheless, a part of our reality.
2. Yes, it can be crippling.
If you are one of those people who do not understand how fear can be crippling, you are lucky. I am a clear example of that. Let me take you back to 2014, I had just graduated high school and started college. One day as I was walking back to my dorm, a man -without my knowledge- approached me from behind. He stole my phone which I managed to recover later on and thankfully, I did not get hurt. This incident might seem of little influence to you, but it was the start of something much worse for me. It was the reason I started seeing the bad in people. The more I saw and experienced, the more I started feeling uncomfortable around them. So I resorted to the comforts of my room. This has made me miss out on so many things such as trips, night outs and even the simple joy of meeting new people.
3. It has cousins (very bad ones).
Have you ever sat down to write and you either find yourself lost in a vortex of distractions, or you suddenly don’t feel like doing it anymore? Whether it is writing, socializing, or going after the job of your dreams, you are most likely to have experienced this feeling. Sometimes it gets to the point where we wonder: is this really what I want? Is it what I am supposed to do with my life? That, my friends, is resistance. It’s the invisible vicious cousin of fear. That is because it usually goes undetected and it is the exact reason why you keep avoiding what you know –deep down- is what you want to do. If this is your case, I would highly recommend Stephen Pressfield’s book (the war of art).
4. Stop trying to overcome it, it won’t happen!
Going into my search about this matter, I had high hopes that the knowledge I would accumulate would eventually help me get over some of my fears, if not most. However, I came to the realization that fear will always be a part of my life, and it’s absolutely okay. What that knowledge helped me figure out is how to manage it. Since I was aware of the degree and nature of fear in my daily life, I found that it became so much more manageable.
5. It’s actually not that bad.
As you have read in 2, that experience and the many more that followed it showed me the ugly side of fear. The more I built up a bad image on it, the more I took it seriously, and that led to it taking over my life. The thing about the power of fear is that it is highly dependent on your perspective of it. If you see fear as something that exists to make you not do something, you will not do it. However, if you see fear as a sign that tells you this is what you should be doing, then you will simply get it done. Yet, always remember that this doesn’t mean that you should just go ahead and pet that wild mountain lion or attempt to fly! Listen to your body, it usually knows best! Give it what it needs, and take away anything that could harm it and above all, love it.
