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9 Ways To Not Drown In A Puddle

Tips for Living in the Pacific Northwest From Someone Who Had to Learn the Hard Way

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9 Ways To Not Drown In A Puddle
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1) Always pack a rain jacket. Yes, it may be sunny and cloudless out but there is a 99.9% chance it will begin to rain as soon as you step outside and you definitely don’t want to arrive at your job interview soaking wet.

2) Stay on the sidewalk. It may be quicker to cut across the grass, but as we established earlier, it rains a lot in the Pacific Northwest. Rain makes mud. Mud ruins shoes. Now you are showing up to your job interview both soaking wet and covered in mud, which makes a fantastic first impression.

3) Don’t forget to close your windows when you leave for the day. If you forget, prepare to find the world’s largest lake in the middle of your room.

4) People only care about your socks. You could be wearing pajamas to class, but as long as your socks are cool, no one will judge you. Even if you are wearing boots all day and no one will see your feet, you better wear cool socks. If you want to receive bonus points, be sure they have cats on them.

5) Never spend longer than five minutes on your hair. All the conditioner and hair spray in the world could never be able to control the frizz that occurs the moment you walk outside. It is best to just shave off all your hair so you never have to worry about anything.

6) Buy a waterproof backpack. With all of the textbooks, notebooks, and laptop you carry from class to class, it is fair to say your backpack is a mini bank account that is getting soaked every time you step outside. Protect your money!

7) Prepare to always smell like a wet dog. Even if you pride yourself with good hygiene and nice smelling perfumes, the damp, musty smell of being in the rain for too long will permeate everything you own. Don’t fight it, just market it as a new fragrance.

8) Learn to drive with your eyes closed. It will be good practice when you find yourself stuck on the freeway in the middle of a typhoon. SIDE NOTE: please don’t actually drive with your eyes closed as it may result in a collision.

9) Take advantage of the sun. When it finally peeps its head through the clouds, drop everything you’re doing and go outside. It doesn’t matter if it is still ridiculously cold, as long as the sun is shining go bathe in some glorious rays and absorb the much needed vitamin D.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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