Everyday, someone is face to face with a bully. All around the world, people are being put down because of their race, sexuality, or gender. Every second, someone is there witnessing some type of racist, sexist, or homophobic attack. Everyday, all around the world, at every given second, there is a chance for someone to escape a racist, sexist, or homophobic attack.
"So, what exactly is a bystander and why am I one? I didn't sign up for this!" Easy, easy. Take a deep breath and pay attention. A bystander is someone who witnesses an incident but does not take part in helping the victim or risk getting involved. The risk to not wanting to get involved is fair for a wide variety of reasons, but it is not accpetable if there is something you can do to help (which is always). Unfortunately, most victims of racist, sexist, and homophobic attacks are more likely to face psychological and/or physical harm if no-one helps them. Bystanders who do not act on these unfortunate incidents are more likely to feel helpless and think they had the potential to do something. While I am not here to tell you what to do, I will give you a few helpful ways to successfully intervene with a racist, sexist, or homophobic attack:
1. Be Confident and Courageous
If you are somewhat of a decent person, you will notice a problem and want to act on it. Analyze the situation, understand what is going on, and decide if you will intervene or find someone else to intervene for you.
2. Play it Safe and Do it Right
- Your safety always comes first. Don't dismiss your safety because then you will put both you and the victim in danger. If you are alone and you are afraid, it would be smart to get someone like a police officer or a trustworthy adult
- Keep in mind that you are not off the hook if there is more than one witness since people are less likely to intervene if there is more than one witness. Why? Well, It's quite simple to think, "Oh, nobody else is doing anything so I shouldn't either..." Since the responsibility to intervene is divided amongst the people, everyone is waiting for someone else to do something and everyone is afraid of being ridiculed for taking action.
- Stay calm. Stay calm. Stay calm.
3. Handling the Situation
- If you are the one taking action, approach the situation with confidence. Approach and handle the situation as if you are a third party and not a threat or an enemy. This is important because if the person causing a threat sees that you are on the victims side, they will dismiss you right away.
- If you put forth your best effort to find a point of connection to ease the tension, the person causing the threat will most likely settle down a bit and open up to you. This may sound ridiculous, but it's true!
- Feel free to distract the perpetuator with humor and/or something out of context.
- Once the tension is eased, make it clear that you are on the victims side. Explain why everyone has their own rights and express your reasons for intervening. Be aware that they are most likely not going to change their mind and that is okay. Just be conscious enough to notice if/when the situation is safe.
- If the situation is safe, continue on to step 4. If not, continue to ease the tension until more help arrives or the scene is no longer dangerous/unjust.
4. What's Next?
- Try to safely leave the situation. Use an excuse for having to go. Everyone lies about getting cleaning the dishes everyday... If you can fake this well enough, you can find an excuse to leave.
- Offer the victim support. Express your sympathy and offer your moral support. Ask if there's anything you can do from this point on.
- Report everything that happened. Duh.
- Pat yourself on the back because you are a good samaritan!
Silence has no message while actions do. Taking action against racist, sexist, and homophobic attacks can make a major difference in our world. Something so small as taking the time out of your day to take action can make the world of a difference to that person and our community.
