Moving On Isn't Always An "All Or Nothing" Experience | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Health and Wellness

Moving On Isn't Always An 'All Or Nothing' Experience And We Need To Remember That

Inspired by my therapist's words of wisdom.

236
Moving On Isn't Always An 'All Or Nothing' Experience And We Need To Remember That

When you think of moving on from something, the general idea that first comes to mind is that you're 100% over it and don't feel hurt, angry, upset, etc. over whatever happened.

Unfortunately, that just isn't how things go.

Moving on isn't all or nothing. Moving on is like a ball moving back and forth on a line between two extremes of "I'm as hurt as if XYZ just happened" and "I don't feel a thing about it anymore."

I've always thought of moving on in the "all or nothing" way. It's what was always implied when others spoke about it, because "moving on" is always assumed to mean you feel absolutely nothing anymore about the situation. Setting "100% over what happened" as the end goal is a tad extreme and may honestly not be accomplishable.

Moving on is an emotional and mental state.

Negative experiences mess with your emotions and your mental state. OF COURSE you're not going to be okay after something happens. OF COURSE, it takes time to move on from the experience.

Just like your emotions can get all over the place, moving on from a negative experience will find you all over the place. One day you'll feel fine and like everything's good, and the next you'll see something on social media that brings it all back. Ok, so it might be on the same day you're feeling good (re: it ALWAYS is, just to ruin a good day), but you get the point.

Moving on doesn't just mean "letting go." Moving on is also learning to accept and come to terms with what happened.

For example: I had a close friend in eighth grade who dumped me and left me in the dirt come high school. It took me many years to let go, and it was one of several negative experiences with former friends that messed with my trusting abilities.

Have I completely moved on? Mostly.

The event doesn't impact me emotionally like it used to. I can think about the experience and not feel the wave of emotional pain I used to feel. Just a few months ago, I saw this friend again and didn't feel the urge to rip her a new one like I once used to.

The point is, just because you've moved on from something doesn't mean you immediately can't feel anything about it anymore.

You are still allowed to be angry, upset, hurt, etc. Those feelings are VALID because you experienced something negative. If you didn't still feel some emotional tug when you're reminded of the negative experience in some way, I'd be a bit concerned.

Moving on doesn't mean not feeling anything anymore. It means you come to terms with/accept what happened as "this happened, it sucked, and there's nothing I can do about it now." It's not allowing those experiences to hold you back from doing things in the present and future.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
friends
Photo by Elizeu Dias on Unsplash

If I have learned one thing in my lifetime, it is that friends are a privilege. No one is required to give you their company and yet there is some sort of shared connection that keeps you together. And from that friendship, you may even find yourself lucky enough to have a few more friends, thus forming a group. Here are just a few signs that prove your current friend group is the ultimate friend group.

Keep Reading...Show less
ross and monica
FanPop

When it comes to television, there’s very few sets of on-screen siblings that a lot of us can relate to. Only those who have grown up with siblings knows what it feels like to fight, prank, and love a sibling. Ross and Monica Geller were definitely overbearing and overshared some things through the series of "Friends," but they captured perfectly what real siblings feel in real life. Some of their antics were funny, some were a little weird but all of them are completely relatable to brothers and sisters everywhere.

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

11 Types Of Sorority Girls

Who really makes up your chapter...

1583
Sorority Girls
Owl Eyes Magazine

College is a great place to meet people, especially through Greek life. If you look closely at sororities, you'll quickly see there are many different types of girls you will meet.

1. The Legacy.

Her sister was a member, her mom was a member, all of her aunts were members, and her grandma was a member. She has been waiting her whole life to wear these letters and cried hysterically on bid day. Although she can act entitled at times, you can bet she is one of the most enthusiastic sisters.

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

10 Reasons Why Life Is Better In The Summertime

Winter blues got you down? Summer is just around the corner!

1377
coconut tree near shore within mountain range
Photo by Elizeu Dias on Unsplash

Every kid in college and/or high school dreams of summer the moment they walk through the door on the first day back in September. It becomes harder and harder to focus in classes and while doing assignments as the days get closer. The winter has been lagging, the days are short and dark, and no one is quite themselves due to lack of energy and sunlight. Let's face it: life is ten times better in the summertime.

Keep Reading...Show less
Relationships

10 Things That Describe You and Your College Friends

The craziest, funniest, and most unforgettable college memories are impossible to create without an amazing group of friends.

1060
College Friends
Marina Lombardi

1. You'll never run out of clothes when you have at least four closets to choose from.

2. You embrace and encourage each other’s horrible, yet remarkable dance moves.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments