I'm writing this particular article in response to my recent foray into the world of Tinder. My roommate convinced me to get the app last week and I can honestly say that I was pretty entertained for the first few days. However, I also have to say that it is one of the most unsatisfactory apps (for various reasons) I have ever come across. But I digress. This article isn't about my personal life, it's actually about yours!
Tinder and other dating apps make me wonder if millennials are really as socially inept as older generations say we are. There are many arguments against this, but I believe it's something to consider. I've noticed that our generation's ability to make connections in the real world is becoming more and more uncommon. This is why more and more people are turning to dating apps in order to find hookups or even relationships more easily. On the flip side, nobody likes admitting that the person they're hooking up with was found on a phone screen because that's still widely seen as socially unacceptable. Go figure.
Thus, I've decided to take matters into my own hands, and after a few weeks of close observation of our student body, I've compiled a short list of ways you can up your socialization game... offline. Here are a few tips on how to increase your dateability level by tenfold and not look like a wallflower when opportunity in the form of an attractive person strikes. You're welcome in advance.
1. Put your phone away
As if I haven't written enough articles about this issue! Your phone is damaging your opportunity to meet people. You are literally sticking a barrier between you and a potential date, not to mention everyone who passes by you. People associate phones with being busy. Thus, using your phone makes you look unapproachable as well as antisocial, especially at parties or other social gatherings. Put it away, and pick your head up! You'll look instantly more approachable and you'll also be more aware of attractive people around you.
2. Give a compliment
See someone you like? Give them a compliment. This is a super easy way to A. Start talking to someone and B. Make them feel good. It can be as easy as "I like your shirt" or "The color of your hoverboard compliments your eyes." Everyone likes a little flattery now and then. Even if nothing more is said and you go your separate ways, you put yourself out there, and that's what counts.
Side note: compliment someone's personality, clothing, or actions rather than their body. If you want to give a compliment about someone's body, make sure you compliment them from the neck up. Anything below the neck usually makes you sound creepy. "Damn, your ass is fine" comes off as creepy and inappropriate. Try, "Woah, your eyes are such a cool shade of blue" or something along those lines.
3. Go out by yourself
This may seem difficult at first, especially if you're the type of person who needs to have someone else to go with them to the bathroom (still don't understand why some people find that necessary), but when it comes to meeting new people, going off on your own is one of the best things you could do. It is way easier to approach someone when they're on their own. If you're with someone else or even in a group, it could be intimidating for someone who would otherwise try to talk to you. Being alone makes you easier to approach. You can try going to the gym, a cafe, or any other place where there are a lot of people, by yourself. Try studying outside instead of in your room or in a place where you're likely to encounter other people (not recommended for people who can't study in loud spaces). There will be plenty more encounters this way, try it for yourself.
4. Wear a "conversation piece"
On top of other things, wear something that will start a conversation or catch people's attention. This doesn't mean go out in public decked out in all sorts of outlandish attire, hell no. After interviewing other students, I found that the article of clothing that starts the most conversations is a quirky shirt; that, or an interesting accessory. You could also try wearing a Jedi costume around and letting people use your plastic light saber (shoutout to the fraternity pledge who did this, he probably made a lot of new friends), but I think a funny shirt will suffice.
5. Join a lot of clubs or activities
Get out of your comfort zone and sign up for clubs or extracurriculars that interest you. There will be plenty of new people in the same space, with a common interest. How many other times in your life will the world present you with so many good opportunities to meet people? I can answer that for you: not many.
6. Walk a dog
This the ultimate move if you want to meet people. No one (in their right mind) can resist a cute puppy. And the best part is it's attached to you! You can't pet a dog without asking the owner if it's acceptable first. Boom. Instant conversation starter. I've definitely tested this out for myself. I volunteer at an animal shelter in Westwood on Sundays, and I've met plenty of people walking shelter dogs. The only problem with this tip would be finding a dog to walk. Unless you volunteer at an animal shelter yourself or have a dog, I can't really offer any more help here.
7. Smile
This is so cliché that I spent a good ten minutes trying to figure out if I wanted to put it in as a tip or not, but it's also a classic piece of good advice. It's true -- people look ten times better when they're smiling. Happiness is attractive. Unless you think the person you're going after is into the whole emo look, try to make your default face a smiling one. For those with resting bitch face, this may be more of a challenge, but if you really set your mind to it, you'll get it.
When worse comes to worst:
8. Have your best pickup lines ready
Because when they're good, they're good. I've compiled a few tried-and-true, never-fail lines for you to use. You're welcome (again):
a. You know what material this is? *Grab shirt* Boyfriend material.
b. Netflix and chill? Or Imax and climax?
c. Do you believe in helping the homeless? [If yes] Take me home with you.
d. You breathe oxygen...? We have so much in common!
e. If you were a fruit, you'd be a "fine"-apple.
Good luck to those of you who are willing to test these tips out, and let me know if they worked out for you or not. Let's make our generation socially adept! There are better ways of meeting people than Tinder; don't just take my word for it, see for yourself!
