I decided to write on this topic because it is one that I am struggling on as of now. It's hard to go from looking in the mirror and despising what you see, to looking in that same mirror, and being completely in love with what you see. I used to be on the first level of viewing myself, and now proud to say that I have came a long way from that point.
Now, that is not saying that I am fully on the other side of the spectrum, but saying that I am more comfortable in my skin now, than I was a couple of years ago. Other people have noticed it as well and have started saying things like, "Justyce, I love how confident you have become.", and that is always rewarding to know that people notice good things about you.
I have always let what others thought of me control my mental state, especially those opinions of guys that I was interested in at the time. There was a time in high school, where I would have done anything for this guy because he would fill my head with lies. I let him use me as his option for when other girls did not work out.
It was not until the summer of my senior year, when he decide that I was good enough to be seen with and to be with, that I realized that I am so much more than someone's second option.
I am worth moving mountains, yet he could not even find it in him to kick a pebble for me. And that is alright because when he did decide that I was "worthy" enough to have his love, I was already on my next adventure. Life is too short and precious, to waste it on people who do not think twice about you unless it benefits them. You have to know your worth before you can expect someone else to.
My goals in life are not to be accepted by everyone else, but to be accepted by God and myself. The new question I ask myself is, "Does this help me run?" and by that I mean does the things that I am doing in my life help me run closer to God. He is my answer to being completely full. This will help me value, myself and the things that he has in store for me, so much more.
"I praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well." -Psalms 139:14
